myluvs.myhates.mymemories.mypast.myfuture

2011-07-05T23:40:00.001+08:00

心中的喜悦却换来一场空。。

在空间却得到的，是一满无奈。

在无奈中，只得到伤痛的对待。

我给的爱就直那么多。。

只要我体谅了解，那我只能默默的付出。。。

多少的付出才是足够。。

我也累了。。

2011-06-25T15:04:00.001+08:00

委屈和眼泪只能往肚子里吞。

Words itself can be sharper than a blade when used inappropriately.

Love caroline~

GE

2011-04-29T07:31:00.001+08:00

Mixed feeling abt GE. The whites has done a great job for our country for the past years. They have proved their worth by giving each of us a secure home and our red passport are so prominent in the world despite being in a red dot on the map. The opps are telling every truth about the hardship and challenges faced by the new generation. We are the one facing the terrible truth and feel that they understand us and is able to voice our concerns. But are they able carry their duties well if they won or is it going to be just voicing without actions. Our whites have been shaking hands with diplomats and they respect us. Would they still respect us if the opps are there instead of whites? It's not only abt Singapore election but our standing in the world as well.

Securing our home and building a nation seems so important mainly because of our age. Being 27 this year, building a home and family is one of our main focus in life.

Our vote can make a difference for our life for the next 5 years or even more..

Love

2011-04-23T08:34:00.001+08:00

Time flies, it has been 2 years 6 months....

It has definitely grown stronger with his loving care, concern and actions towards me..

I hope this would be everlasting as we will be facing more challenges in life.

From marriage to family life, then aging together..

Getting older makes me learn to be more optimistic, cause life itself is ugly..

But I have regrets for giving them up. I miss them alot but I don't know what can I do. I hope that time will heal all wounds. I feel sorry for giving up but I guessed this episode has made me stronger too.

I hope everything will be smooth sailing for them so that they would not have to suffer so much..

A long weekend to rest, relax and play~

Love caroline~

2011-03-02T23:57:00.001+08:00

I had a dream yesterday.

I dreamt that he kissed another girl passionately in front of me and looking at me, giving me that kinda proud and satisfied look.. He then told me he wanna a breakup... I cried badly and ran away.

It was such a disgusting and hurting sight...

Then I found this:

Break-Up

To dream that you break up with your significant other, indicates that there is something in your life that you need to let go no matter how hard it may be.

To dream that your boyfriend or girlfriend is breaking up with you, indicates that your relationship is moving to the next level. In a way, it is an end to something; you are leaving some past behind. At the same time, it is the start of something new or better. It is important to remember that such a dream is not an omen that the relationship is not working out. As a relationship evolves and grows, it also changes.

To dream that you did not break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, suggests that you are still in denial about the break-up. Your mind many not have accepted the notion that the relationship is over.

Hope the explanation is true..

Love caroline~

Happy Chinese New Year

2011-02-03T09:05:00.001+08:00

Another new year has passed, we are getting older or should I say we are aging gracefully? Haha!

Happy Chinese new year!! May all my friends be blessed with good health and happiness!!

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!!

Love caroline~

Life itself

2011-01-10T23:18:00.001+08:00

How I wish life could be as peaceful as this.. Enjoyed the moments with my baby..

When one has lost hope, we would turn to other choices..

I wish life could be as colorful filled with different tastes which fulfills the wonders of life itself..

Hang on there,

Love caroline~

Outlook of life

2010-10-16T23:07:00.001+08:00

In life, sometimes it's better not to look at things too clearly; you may see more flaws.. Thus it's better to leave things as it is..

Love caroline~

love,, pasts.. regrets...life...

2010-10-15T07:16:00.000+08:00

My nose was blocked and throat was sore, couldn't sleep well. So i woke up at 5am plus to surf net as usual. I came across a blog where it was about 2 people in love; simple pleasures in life with each other's accompany.

It made me think back about my past relationships, my love journey till today. There were sweet moments with my loved ones which were just so pure and innocent. Without any bad intentions and it started with a simple word: Love. Times were so sweet and wonderful then as it seems that the world just revolves around us. There was no time or space for another person in each other's heart and mind.

Then i met him which i regretted that relationship which lasted for 3 yrs; a total waste of my life but yet I can't do anything because I chose him. Everyone had been telling me not to sank into it but I chose to. Stepping out of it now, it made me realise how ugly this world is; with such bad attitude and outlook in life. That was a total nightmare for me; throwing me into cold water to suffer then back to life, I guessed that was when my perception of love changed. That kinda pure and innocent love which i believed in was all gone. You took away all my trust and faith in love. I was thrown into burden which noone know yet I had to behave like nothing had happened and life still moves on. Till today, i am still stuck at that place, hard to move on...

I am glad to meet my new love who dotes on me. He may not be perfect but I hope he will be true to me because I had been through some which I did not believed that it would happen to me. It was a total shock to me yet I chose to move on because I love him. i do not deny that this path was tough because to forgive and forget is tougher than said.

Trust was broken and had to be earned, Sense of security was lost and required to rebuild again. I don't know how long or how far we can walked together hand-in-hand but i will continue to walk on and choose to believe in you all over again...

2010-10-13T09:27:00.001+08:00

Thanks for being there for me whenever I am down..

My life has been occupied with work, love and family. I used to wonder what's my goal in life? Previously I wished to set up a centre with my buddies, somehow the wish came true but all came to an halt.. I missed those times with our crazy laughters, tired nights going through portfolios, staying overnights and so on... Time can never be turned back but I do not regret leaving as I have faced a different side of life.. Just that I missed you gals.. Don't know if u gals feel the same but things will nv be the same again.. 最熟悉的陌生人 could be the phrase to describe our friendships. I used to think of them being my Jie Mei when I get married with their blessings.. It's such a wonderful scene.. But now I don't know how it would be like. I don't dare to think abt it but I miss u all alot.

Anyway, I missed my friends' laughters, lame jokes and craziness too.. As we are getting older, one by one settle down with families then with kids.. It's a happy scene yet on the other hand, my parents and family are getting older. Walking behind them, I can see them walking slowly yet trying to keep up with our steps but their hairs are greying and faces wrinkled.

I can't imagine my life without their noises, nagging and quarrels. Somehow all these have become part of my life. We are a conservative family and do not express ourselves readily but I would like to say: I love you mummy and daddy despite my unhappy childhood but aunt and uncle has always been there to pull the bridge between us.

I am getting emo maybe because I am tired. The last episode in my life when I ended my 2009 will always stay with me cos somehow I lost 3 dearest friendship somehow somewhere.... I manage to walk through those saddest moments with my friends like weizhang and weejia who spent the nights counselling and talking to me. Elsa's comforting words helped alot though she was miles away. My aunt and uncle constant calls and concerns to ensure I am alright.

I choose to smile and walk over it but it's always tough whenever I think of them... Misses...

I will choose to end this 2010 with a happy note with my loved ones. Because time is not on my side, I have so much things to do yet so little time...

I missed all those who love me too..

Love caroline~

2010-09-27T20:33:00.001+08:00

When I received the news, I was both delighted and vexed. Delighted because the load has been removed from my shoulder but vexed because I am in such situation. Anyway I am glad with such outcome.

It's has been such a tiring weekend. I've been sleeping through my weekend because of the day of a month. I missed him so much because I been lying on bed with pain. We couldn't spend the weekend happily.

Miss you loads!!

Christina's post birthday dinner & Step Up 3

2010-08-20T09:45:00.003+08:00

I had dinner with Christina and Gernice yesterday as Christina's post birthday meal! I was late due to work(as usual)! haha.. sorry to keep you girls waiting. =P We had Dian Xiao Er and the food was yummy compared to the previous time i went with Christina. Sorry for no pics as its all with Gernice. Upload them gal!

After which we walked around and Christina had to leave earlier to meet her hubby up. Left both of us as we wondered around and decided to catch a movie instead of going KTVing... We went to catch STEP UP 3 and the show was fantastic! The dance moves and background were just awesome! There were a few surprising scenes which was like wow! It is a nice entertaining show after a long day at work to enjoy the music + dance!

Woooh.. Me and Gernice were telling each other how good looking Rick Malambri is! haha! even when he wears casually out on the 'street', he just look too handsome to resist!

Charming eyes!

Go and catch this show over the weekend! Yay!

Watch the Step up 3 Trailer here!!

Kite flying

2010-08-17T21:02:00.001+08:00

Enjoy the kite flying experience! But I am getting soooo tanned！
So chao ta!

Loving the kite flying time with him!
Now looking forward to meeting Christina and gernice as well as our blading session on Sunday!

My Sunday

2010-07-12T15:06:00.007+08:00

After watching the Germany vs Uraguay matc, both of us dropped dead till sunday morning 10.30am. As usual, we were thinking what to eat for breakfast or rather lunch..

Seeing the sun so bright and sunny, I suggested to go rollerblading as it was ages since we went rollerblade together; he decided to jog while i rollerblade

On the way there

loves the blue sky, beautiful clouds~

As I was taking time to warm up, he jogged ahead of me while i was still struggling.. Seeing the crowd, i decided to head back from where we started off. It was fun watching the little ones learning to blade; shared with him that i will encourage my kids to start young than to learn at my age. =)

After change, we were thinking where to have lunch and Ben called to ask whether we wanna watch 'Predator', I said 'okay' and off we headed to Tampines (our usual hunt on weekends).

The movie was so-so only while the ending was lame as expected.. dun waste your $$..

We decided to have Din Tai Fung early as we planned to catch the World Cup finals~ Netherlands against Spain. Got to sleep early~

-Din Tai Fung-The meal was fulfulling: Fried rice with prawn. Chilli Crab Dumpling, Xiao Long Bao, Suan La Tang and Hong You Chao Shou. These are our must haves!!

Headed home to prepare for sleep but we were engrossed with Discovery Channal: Deadliest Catch till 11pm+ Fell asleep and woke up at 2.30am to catch WC Final.

On a lighter note, my colleagues commented that this boy looks like my bf. Heheee!

what do you say?

Dinner with his family

2010-07-10T09:27:00.002+08:00

Yesterday we went for a family dinner to celebrate his dad's friend birthday. It was at west coast recreation centre which brought back lots of memories.

Those were the sec sch days where the guys go for pool/ billiard while I stood by to watch. It also reminded me of the times where I went to Christina grandma place, my encounter with dialect hokkien. Those were my days around 13 to 16 yrs old.

Back to the dinner, it was quite nice. I had lobster bique, baked cod fish and banana spilt. Forgotten to take pics..

It was such a long time since I ate at jack place. It was our favorite hangout place with my aunt and uncle at the bras basah branch when I was young.

During the dinner, we chatted about current news etc. Then they asked him when is our wedding dinner. His mum casually mentioned that it's good to get married next year and have a dragon baby the following.

Hmm... Everything seem to be rushing. Nowadays topics are about flats, housing, children, marriage etc.. I do wish to settle down with him but talking about practically settling down, I seem afraid. Worried that we cannot cope financially, am I ready to be someone's wife; daughter in law; sister in law or even a mum?

The responsibility is a great commitment for life. Somehow I am withdrawing, afraid that I can't cope. Now this is really sitting on the fence... Hmmm...

Some overdued pics:
My surprise birthday celebration

My birthday presents

Citigem pendant from Angela, Anthony, Edwin and Gerald.
Gucci keychain from Shannon and Ben.
S90 camera from him.
Thanks to all!

Our trip to helix bridge

2010-06-07T08:24:00.001+08:00

On a cool Monday morning, I am on way to work.. Squeezing thru the crowd in mrt.. This weekend was so short as we hardly had time. I am so tired, despite all the naps... I still feel lethargic.

Perhaps I am too tired emotionally, having to go thru the ups and downs again.. Going thru the emotional turmoils makes my heart break once again..

But glad that things work out fine... Will this last? I am not sure but I will keep trying...

I am losing confidence of myself...

2010-05-05T18:55:00.001+08:00

Thanks for everyone concern!! I am fine just stressed up with work and family issue... Mum in hospital, rushing here and there...

Yeah my tea session with parents has been postponed!! Phew~

Yest saw the canon powershot sx210 online... Wanting it!!!! Hehhe!!! Friends u know what to do huh... Hahhah

2010-05-03T20:37:00.001+08:00

I been trying to understand people.. Adults keep telling me:" you have to learn to understand because...＂＂you have to to try to look for their perspective as ....."

I am tired of hearing all these... I know what you are trying to say but have you stop to think... Have you ever learn to understand me or ever learn to look from my perspective??

To certain extend, we are all selfish beings and seek attention.... Just because I am fine and is mature enough to think and handle things doesn't mean I am Alright, okay?

I am just another young adult (or adult whichever you like to name) who wants attention too... I wished to be cared for and be understood.. I wish to be spoilt and pampered so that I can gain some attention... But yet it was never to be...

I can never have that kinda attention because to u pp, I am mature enough and able to cope...

Don't wait till one day I chose to mishandle things because I decided to just to gain your attention... Then it would be very pitiful for you and upsetting for everyone...

2010-05-03T11:17:00.001+08:00

On way home and later to the hospital for mum's admission... Feeling tired physically and emotionally... To add on, my Aunty visit came... Emo emo emo..

This will be a busy week again with mum in hospital and work.. Work is piling up and lots of issues to handle at the same time.. Stressed ah~

Not a good and happy may to start off with.. Haiz... And not to mention it's my birthday month too!! Hope everyhing would be better... *Pray*

2010-04-19T15:49:00.002+08:00

After 3 days of sore throat, running nose and persistant fever... i gave in and went to see doctor... despite taking medications from previous visits...

Doc recommended me to take Tamiflu which i refused as i had taken it before and the feeling was bad... and did not want to be immune to Tamiflu too... end up took the H1N1 swab test which was highly encouraged by her and since it was free, i went ahead... had to wait 3 days for test results...

*waiting patiently*

meanwhile just plenty of rest and if fever persist or high fever.. will have to be back to clinic...

got to rest...

2010-04-12T09:29:00.001+08:00

Travelling on the similar journey but different feeling... Looking at the same scenary but different views....

The smile on her face is so sincere... Which makes each day worth looking forward to...

Simple happiness...

2010-04-06T07:08:00.001+08:00

After some discussions, I felt that things were so wrong just to turn the tables at me...

Nothing was mentioned before I signed on the dotted lines... She did promise to return me not in one sum yet we agreed verbally on the monthly term instead... As your reason was based on com acct.

Yet at the very moment u telling me not to be calculative... I was soooo wrong not to listen to them. They told me to wait till I received everything before signing... Yet I told them it's alright, I trust them and they would stand by their words...

Now I have proved myself sooo wrong... Words have been eaten up... Tables turned around...

No point arguing who's right or wrong anymore cos to some they are never ending to it..

It's a lesson learnt... Only trust black and white... Sad to say, I have lost it... Lost it once again... Got to move on...

2010-04-05T20:53:00.001+08:00

No one is indispensable in this world… thus it makes no difference to some people whether we are breathing in the same air or not..

My good friend taught me: “Once a friend, always a friend” which I held on dearly to.. Even till now, we would make an effort to catch up on our lives..

But the quote doesn’t apply to all… Things have turned sour to the point of disappointment and sense of betrayal…. If you are out to turn my life upside down by doing such things to eat my share, go ahead if it does not affect your conscience… knowing my plight and current situation… all I need is understanding and not some kinda arrangement to do me in.

It’s so F**king upsetting that I cannot stand it… if you were really my buddy you would have informed me earlier knowing my current situation and not play me out by doing such things…

At least I know I been thru it, slog it through even though I did not succeed but I manage to recover my health…

Sorry to all reading this post, I am just too upset with certain issue at this point of time…. Don’t ask me anymore if you are really concerned… thanks…

2010-03-02T20:02:00.002+08:00

back from a 'construction' on my teeth.. spent $200+ on it.. a big damage to my poor pocket.. but glad i have nice set of looking teeth!

Mega Smile!

2010-02-27T09:07:00.003+08:00

can't believe i am the fool again.. i gave you chances and chances again.. yet i thought you could be trusted but i realised that you been lying to me again and again.. regardless call it a white lie or what...

i just hate ppl for lying to me!!
i really don't know how to trust and pretend that everthing is gonna be alright....

haiz.. a long journey down yet no trust.. only pretence...

2010-01-22T16:25:00.002+08:00

That kinda fear makes one feel helpless.. there is nothing i can do at all.. only to pray.. although i am fearful yet i got to pretend everything is going to be fine..

I understand that kinda fear of duno what is going to happen.. what will happen or what is next?

Feeling totally lost and helpless..

2010-01-06T01:56:00.001+08:00

Lying here.. Thinking.. Pondering.. I have come this far.. With nothing on hands but only love love & love.. Love from my family, love from my friends & love from him..

I broke their heart again n again, they shed their tears for me again n again but they continue to love and support me again n again.. I love them for who they are.. I really love u..

2009-12-30T02:00:00.001+08:00

Alot of things have changed. It will never be the same again.
Life has to move on and I am learning to let go of the heavy burden. I am grateful to have my friends, family and him to stand by me.
It was heartening to hear from her especially when she is miles away. Really thanks alot. At times it is difficult to share with ppl around us as there is always an emotional attachment to it thus may affect judgement. Worry about how ppl are going to look at us, observe our behaviour and what is running through their mind.
To think back, We had a silly pact in our younger days. I guessed it's all these memories and promises which keeps us going. As quoted by a friend:" once a friend, forever A friend."

Another year is reaching the end yet I feel I have not accomplished much. I am being thrown back to square one, the same place where I was then.

Moving on, don't know what is ahead. Where is the courage and strength. What am I doing it for and why?? It feels kinda trap in a circle without any angle to see from. Just going round and round only to be chasing my own shadow, myself.

2009-12-08T16:36:00.002+08:00

it has been a long time since my last post. My life has been pretty mundane with work, burning midnight oil, work, bf and friends. Somehow i am grateful to have caught up with friends who has been supportive and willing to give me listening ear to my heartfelt words and feelings. They can understand my feelings and thoughts yet they can help me view from another perspective. I could really pour my heart out to them~ without any withold or awkwardness.

I guessed along the way~ I have lost and gain some friendship. At least to me, i feel comfortable talking to them about anything under the sun.

I am not sure if the decision is settled which is making me upset as I do not know whether to let go and move on. I hate the sense of feeling lost, that kinda sense of uncertainty about things.

Thanks to ppl who have been walking along with me; giving me the support and concern. Thanks to friends who spent the nights with me although they are also caught up with their own stuffs.

But i felt sorry for some who really cared but I could not be there, physically or emotionally.

I guessed I am down with alot of emo stuffs that are unsettled thus i chose to close myself up. I need strength to walk on....

2009-09-12T14:14:00.000+08:00

你认为对我好的东西或事情，并不是我想要的。。

我想要的只是那么简单。。。

2009-09-11T22:26:00.001+08:00

Don't need to put me down!!! at least i do not do things against my conscience or to hurt anyone...

2009-08-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

Maybe some things are better left unsaid~

Emotions and thoughts to be kept unmentioned...

Because life still goes on... there is no time for anyone else but to move on~

It should not be hurting at all~

Smile and live on like there is no tomorrow...

2009-08-04T14:46:00.000+08:00

maybe i should not have taken it up in the first place.. then would not have to face today's situation...

2009-08-01T22:03:00.003+08:00

Life can be so tiring, filled with ups and downs. When i thought things are looking well and is on a positive note, a pail of cold water just poured over me. I cant help but feel very disappointed and upset. When you believed you have put in lots of effort but what you get is just a piece of paper which says: Failed, Needs Improvement. I dunno what else I can do.

Sometimes i feel i am hanging in midair, dunno which direction to go; feeling lost and just following the majority. Maybe i am just making people around me happier by doing it or just because i lost my direction.

I need encouragement to keep me going, not just a pail of cold water; leaving me cold and helpless.

2009-07-17T13:39:00.002+08:00

i felt so loved~ here i am being quarantined at home.. wondering how to spend my time till i fell alseep again.. when i woke up.. he turned up at my doorstep with lunch! ohhh~~ i was worried if his parents would mind....but i dropped my tears when i saw him as i missed him terribly and was feeling so down..

thanks my dear~ =) you made my day!

2009-07-15T20:38:00.002+08:00

i have to self-quarantine for the next 7 days.. =( because one of my family is down with H1N1... never expect my family to be one of them.... haiz.. guess its too common... hopefully i would not get it because i am a high risk suspect now... i dread staying in hospital, rather stay home instead...

i would be online for the next few days... chat with me if you are free because i am too bored! a good way to keep myself away from work though, time to relax... hehe...

any nice websites to recommend which i can spend time on... time for me to catch up on some work as well.. =)

bye!

2009-07-10T22:12:00.001+08:00

life just sucks.. just so upsetting... i hate the way it is... hate it to the core!!!!!!

sorry.. i have no other venue to voice out my frustrations and anger... sounds so pathetic ya... haiz...

2009-07-07T22:59:00.003+08:00

what to say... i am just plain lazy and busy to blog... when i am free, i am lazy to write about my life because my FB seems to be more more active as my friends would tag me in the photos.. hehe.. in conclusion, i depend on FB to update my life and my friends too!

i just met up one of my sec sch mate.. it was a heart warming chat.. where we talked about our past, future and goals in life. I guess i have really grown after so many years with my ups and downs in life. Sometimes its just great to meet ur friends whom you used to spend everyday of your life before. When we encounter certain stuffs in life, some changes would be faced as there are decisions made. Some friends are meant for life where some just leave footprints... he taught me: once a friend, forever a friend. I guess this pulled us closer as it is an agreement between us.

i miss my dear friends, although i do not meet u up or chat often. i do update myself with FB or from friends too.. hehe.. but do not throw me a red bomb without notice ya.. been hearing lots of red bomb recently...
)
anyway.. may joy bask in her happiness and be 'joyous' always! =)

2009-04-14T07:54:00.002+08:00

It was a nice long chat with a friend whom we used to share times and memories.. thinking back to the past, we did lots of silly things together...

It was a wonderful night for self reflection.... the paths we have crossed... the things that we have done.. the friends whom we have made along the way... people whom we used to hold dearly only to lose them... and the ups & downs in life...

Well... i realise he is still the simple guy yrs back.. not much changes but we have both grown so much... we have matured over the years.. yet still as fun loving... or maybe i do changed alot after falling and getting up on my feet for umpteen times... so much so that i wondered if i have changed or my friends are still stagnant at that stage... i dunno...

But definitely enjoy the company of my friends.. which i hope to spend a day or maybe just a night with them for my birthday celebration.. i do miss them alot...

2009-03-30T12:42:00.003+08:00

Attended my company DnD last night, the theme was Shanghai Nights! It was an eye-opener yet somewhat boring event.. here are some pictures of my staffs:

did not take much pictures as we were busy eating~ all of us were too hungry... hehe.. i have more photos with my staffs.. shall upload again when i have time! =)

2009-03-18T23:01:00.002+08:00

our lives are usually filled with happiness, regrets, hatred and emotions.. at certain point, people tend to ponder and reflect about the life they are leading now.. is it a decision that they have made or is it due to external factor?

when one places trust in someone but only to realise that the trust is being misplaced.. when you thought happiness is here but actually what you see is on the surface... when hatred are deep rooted inside you, can you really smile and laugh as if nothing has happened?

humans are getting more complicated.. as feelings together with society pressure becomes more complex... its getting tougher to interact with people around...

human complex nature is something that is simple yet complicated just like me.. i am a simple yet complicated gal with a complex mind.... i am getting tired...

2009-02-26T14:11:00.003+08:00

i am STUCK at home... just because i cant find my house keys.. asked my buddies to search for them in school but nowhere to be found.. so here i am.. waiting for my mum to be back before i be back in school.. sorry buddies...

some updates of my life:
recently been busy with accounts & foreign worker application.. i did not change my field.. Just that there are more scopes to cover since i went into my business with my buddies...

Currently we are in the midst of setting up an Infant Care too.. so alot of preparation work to be done.... =) so i be booking into Bukit Panjang Camp again! hehe.. friends may come uphill to visit me!

i neglected alot of my friends ever since i came to this school... practically i am only seeing my 3 buddies, baobei, my teachers, parents and children. I miss them alot especially my sec sch friends who have been asking me out but i always fly aeroplane... sorry peeps...

i am happy with my baobei around... he dotes on me and would give in to my wildness & crazyness which drives him into a corner at times... 就拿我没办法。。哈哈！！

but i got to apologize for my lateness everytime we meet because of work or poor time management.. he had to wait for me & give me a grumpy face... 对不起啦！！ but it would turn into a cheeky smile before volcano errupts... =P ......what to do.. i turned his life upside down! wahaha!

got to go back to my accounts while waiting for my mum to be back!

*p.s pls sms me if u have any job offer as one of my bestie is currently looking for one.. thanks!

bye!

for your viewing pleasure~

*at esplanade*

*from baobei*

*with my gifts*

*my gift to him*

2008-11-19T22:22:00.011+08:00

~the love of my life~

~thanks for being there for me all these while~

~thanks for being so crazy with me~

~thanks for standing by me when i was sad~

~thanks for tolerating with my mischievous~

~thanks for acting foolish just to make me smile~

~thanks for everything~

~thanks for being you and loving me~

2008-09-12T00:21:00.002+08:00

here i am.. still in school... haven been going home for the past week as i spent the nights in school, waking up only after few hours of sleep.. feeling so tired especially emotionally.. haven't got time to sort out my emotions and feelings.. been busy day in and out...

everyone tells me i am a strong gal and would be able to get over it soon as i been kept busy.. yet i think otherwise.. i cant imagine the day when i pause for a moment.. all memories would be flooding my mind.. haiz...

tomorrow would be another busy day till wee hours again... hope to get over this soon and move on~

2008-08-30T01:20:00.003+08:00

Fate loves to make a fool of people.. Just when you thought things were fine, suddenly things took a turn, life changes...

Well, I can only wish for everyone to be happy especially my loved ones.. If you are happy, i will be too... If letting go would meant happiness, then one would be glad to do so; no matter how unwilling or pain one might be...

Life is full of unexpected happenings.. we can only live by a day yet planning for the future which noone can foresee..

I wish everyone around me to be happy... just my simple wish.. =)

2008-08-24T02:27:00.000+08:00

Here I am.. sitting on the fence, afraid of falling…. I dunno how else to describe.. but I am just leading on with my life just like that.. flowing along with the current…

I felt so empty yet happy.. things have changed… we are on different sides… like the saying ‘so near yet so far’..

2008-08-16T23:33:00.002+08:00

finally got home.. feeling tired... was surfing the net when i came across this, quite true though.. just to share with you:

Did I marry the right person?

Here's the answer:
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love withyour spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about theimagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's thenatural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone callsbecome a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, afriendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND!

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.'

Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do to succeed with your marriage.

2008-07-21T02:12:00.003+08:00

Lying on bed now.. at 2.37am..i am still awake...

'Life is so unpredictable' which sounds so "classic".... hehe....but true enough, this is an apt description of my life now...

I am looking forward to this new lease of life which i got to face it and overcome it. Facing new challenges in life has always been what i am looking for because i am afraid of boredom... sick of daily routines. I know that this might be the greatest challenges in life because we are working with our loved ones, yet i believe that we will be able to overcome all difficulties because of our love for friendship which holds us dearly together.

I got to learn to let go of the past and accept this new chapter. Although i have my reservations, i am willing to go through everything once again because if i never try, i will never know the outcome.

I am nothing but just a girl who is willing to try everything to find true meaning in life. I believe in true love because i still see old couples holding hand in hand, never giving up on one another. Hopefully he is here....

I am holding onto everything that i have now.. my love and passion in life in return for happiness... just a simple happiness...

2008-07-15T12:43:00.002+08:00

i am feeling blissful now... hehe.. never felt so for a long long time... i am just so happy...

looking forward to the future and a fresh me, putting the past behind.. leaving all sad and painful memories at this moment...

thanks to my friends for being there for me; accompanying me through the late nights with buckets of tears... at KTVs, playgrounds, etc... thanks for trying so hard to cheer me up with all your stunts which you may try harder next time... haha!

sorry to those whom i cant borrow your shoulder to lie on due to your Significant Other... Sorry la... =P must respect right? hehe

Thanks for everything~for being there for me~ for not laughing at me when i cried so terribly like a baby.. I know i cried like a baby... I shall mention it myself!! =P

I feel like a princess now.. lalala... hehe....

2008-07-04T08:35:00.000+08:00

You tend to be cheerful, carefree, pure and gentle sort of person.
You possess a relaxed atmosphere, and although you seem a proud person, you are actually friendly and open-hearted.
You are not cautious towards people you meet for the first time, and be able to act openly to men as well.
You possess extremely honest character, and never doubt others.
You are too ready to believe others, and are not terribly good at bargaining and tactics.
Your heart is too pure for that sort of things.
Your instinct and observing power is weak.But you are intelligent enough to see things objectively.
Theory is very important for you, and therefore you are not good at fast action.
You are broad-minded person, and are well trusted by people.
You get too busy looking after the others, and may loose yourself.
You go about thing in your own pace, and you possess strong volunteering spirit.
But if something is unreasonable, you are very obstinate not to acknowledge it.
You are a person with strong sense of justice.
You can be optimistic towards life, and believe everything will settle just fine.
You like men who are well-dressed and smart, modern and educated.
After getting married you will be a caring wife, and tend to be busy going about doing lots of things.

2008-07-03T10:49:00.004+08:00

I enjoyed this trip to Bintan..despite all the blurness and hiccups... We did lots of activities like snorkeling, jet ski, banana boat, buggy rides etc.. We were under the scorching sun for 7 hours and now suffering from sunburnt.. I have never been so tanned in my life... haha!

Here are only a few pics as we were busy enjoying ourselves and only took all the pics on our last day...

looking forward for the next trip~ maybe batam then! hehe!

2008-05-27T01:11:00.001+08:00

thanks to those for their birthday wishes to me!

Yeah.. i am back! i enjoyed myself very much there... hope to stay there as there is no memories... no past memories.. no sad memories... just a fresh new start... how i wish..

now back here.. gt to face all the shit again... dread them.. haiz!

anyway another day for me to rest before i am back to the cruelty of life! hahaa!

2008-05-15T22:30:00.003+08:00

我在这两年里过得好累。。累得喘不过气。。好忙忙得吃不下饭。。终于决定放弃的时候，她让我觉得这里没这么不好。。还是有人情味，这里都有感觉和谈不上的亲情。。

今天我却哭了，发现原来我就只是一个平平凡凡，说来就来，说走就走的一个人罢了。。。我的心好伤好伤。。总相信世界上会有有心人，可是我就只是一个人罢了。。。

在这地方，每一寸地方，每一扇门，都有我的苦心。。。可是又有谁看到了。。我好难过。。

好难过。。。

2008-05-05T23:52:00.003+08:00

i have been feeling down recently due to lots of happenings in my life....

today, i am happy for one of my best friend- Christina Cai. She went to register for her marriage and i am happy that she has found her love one...

To her Hubby: Do treat her good and take care of her or we wun let you off. And pls give her permission to go out with us at times ya.. =P hahaa!

I have been upset at work... feeling the stressed.. especially during this HFMD period. I seek teachers and staffs cooperation to do whatever we can to keep the diease at bay. But I faced uncooperative and irresponsible parents who only care for themselves. I was upset as i feel that it is unfair for my teachers and staffs who have done all their best to prevent the spread of disease. If parents can do their part, we could have done a better job. I voiced my unhappiness to my friends, colleagues and family. Everyone just says, what can you do? you have done your best.. So dun think too much since yours is not the only centre down with it.

Brooding over the issue makes me realise that it does not help, so i wrote in to the papers to voice my concerns out and also doing my social responsiblity as an Early Childhood Educator. I am glad that they actually publish my passage out, reaching out the community and hope parents will realise that they can do their part too...

Hopefully, parents will think about what they can do as a responsible being..

2008-04-28T01:54:00.003+08:00

这段时间，或许我做了许多大家都不支持我的选择或决定，可是我还是坚持着。。

或许我真的累了，
累了为别人而活，
累了替别人着想
累了凡事都是为了你们或他们，

这次我选择自私，只为我自己。。。只想让自己活着还有意义；世上还有我的存在。。

我真的好累。。好累。。

2008-04-14T01:45:00.003+08:00

回家的路上，我又流泪了。。因该是难过的眼泪吧。。收音机播着“比我幸福”。。就像我的心意。。。突然好想他们，不知为何。。可能他们陪我快乐，陪我难过吧。。

回到家，看到他们的missed call。。回了电，听到他们熟悉的声音，我又想哭了。。忍着眼泪。。不哭了。

online 收到了一份surprise... 哈哈。。又哭了。。是感动的眼泪吧。。谢谢你！！

好感谢陪伴着我的朋友，在这些日子让我过得很充实很快乐。。

2008-04-12T06:06:00.004+08:00

那颗心，选择不动，或许就不那么伤。。

2008-03-28T09:30:00.002+08:00

Looking at my friend, being simple means being happy..
but being simple is not easy especially when one has been through lots in life..
I admire her so much as its easier for her to get over things at times.. whereas i still dwell on it over time n time...

had a chat with some friends, they teased me for being blur n 'toot' at times..
being like this, i often lose out cos others has think ahead of me..

being the stubborn me, believes that "being ignorance is bliss"...
Although this world may be cruel and people are always thinking of how to outdo one other,
i trust that there are still kindness in humane...

I am facing a stuggle within me, i do not know what and whom i can trust... i chose to run away but i also wanna find out the truth but afraid of being hurt again... i am just so afraid..

i guessed my heart has been locked up again... the truth is just too much for me to face...

2008-03-13T12:59:00.003+08:00

my life has been pretty occupied with these loved ones~

thanks for being there~ and with more to come! =D

2008-03-03T10:41:00.002+08:00

如果再见我　你能说什么
说爱我　或只是寂寞
原谅我冷漠　选择不联络
因为我　担心你会听见我　
还那么难过
短讯声在响　凌晨两点半
惊醒的房里　更孤单
一句睡了吗　像你的习惯
这夜晚　为你而混乱
因为对
你我连再见都　说不出口
我想你能懂

2008-03-03T01:24:00.003+08:00

i lost my sense of judgement.. i cant tell what is right or wrong anymore.. which is the truth or lie.. which is real or unreal... 在我眼前，一切都是模糊了。。

我的心好痛好痛，比分开还痛。。这就是我看到和得到的结果吗。。想了很多。。我已经好累好累了。。不管结果是如何。。

2008-02-24T15:10:00.000+08:00

born on 23 may 1984:

* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* ! Loves traveling
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

how true?....

2008-02-23T23:07:00.002+08:00

tearing in my heart as tears wells up in my eyes...

my life is in a mess which i totally have no control of... i hate it as much as i hate myself!!

2008-02-22T00:35:00.004+08:00

在我回家的路上，我们的回忆又出现在我脑海里。

经过那些商店，他们都忙着拆新年的雕饰。新年就这样过了，我的生活也不一样了，一切都过去了就如新年。。。

在戏院里，我的身旁已不是你。。
在车上，我的右手边也不是你了。。

希望我能够更坚强去面对将来的一切。。

我学会了一样东西：I was a chapter of your life and now you are on another chapter of life...

2008-02-17T23:08:00.003+08:00

我已经不再喜欢看电影了
我已经不再走我们曾经经过的路，有太多的不再了

因为有太多的回忆，太多的过去，太多的曾经。。
我要学着过自己的生活，没人牵着我的手，保护我，不让我跌倒。。
不再有你在我的生边和我生活的点点滴滴, 不再出国游玩。再也没有所谓的以后和将来了。。

夜晚的我要学着或习惯夜里的孤单平静和寂寞。。

我要学着独立更坚强，一切都是过去了。。

我只希望你快乐，能找到你的爱，你的幸福，你的快乐和未来。。

2008-01-24T10:21:00.000+08:00

here i am, down with flu once again.

been feeling down recently, lotsa stuffs going through my mind~ my career, my life, my future, my dreams.. but to no decision yet.

i met up with two of my besties last weekend~ gernice & christina. it was a long night chat till wee hrs 2am although 3 of us had to work on the following Monday. It was nice catching up with them as we shared our memories, our thoughts & feelings. Each of us had grown alot through life experiences with ups & downs in life. But I am glad that we could still meet up after such a long time.. Counting back, we knew each other since 13 meaning we have known each other for 11 years! still counting on to our friendship years & I am looking forward to this Sun for our outing again!

shall update again... tk care!

2007-12-13T22:11:00.001+08:00

thks for all your concerns.. i am fine..

retreating into my corner of thoughts...

2007-11-25T14:24:00.000+08:00

memories shall end here..
tears been rolling down....
with all the sleepless nights...

nothing can explain how i feels now...

2007-11-19T07:59:00.000+08:00

my journey home was so near yet so long...

2007-10-21T12:05:00.000+08:00

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.

But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

2007-10-15T20:29:00.000+08:00

here i am with a heavy heart yet souless being..
i feel so empty within me that i am lost.. my life used to be full of ups and downs but now it seems too smooth or rather boring that i cant get used it.

my heart and mind is complicated and i dunno how to fix it back in place. i am not sure about my directions in life and just leading the life as it is. is this how i am going to spend my life for the next 4 to 5 yrs? i am sure it isnt but what can i do? i do not wish to waste my twenties doing nothing worthwhile.

They say that its better to die without regrets rather then die without trying. how many of us really have the courage to do what we really want? i wish to try and rather to die without regrets but in the first place, i dunno how to step out of my comfort zone.

i have been working for the past 3 yrs in different company. but thinking back, how much have i achieve or learnt? we need $$ to live but that is not all about life. there are much more things like satisfaction, happiness and health etc. just out of these 3, i feel that i have achieve nothing, just a waste of my life...

my moral, energy level and drive is running low. I need to recharge myself. Is this how i am going to be....

2007-07-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

After working for the whole week till around 9pm, now i am left with a weak body and mind; down with flu which is making me so frustrated. All these work are draining my health and soul which left me with nothing but an empty body. Hope to rest well and recharge once again.

Some updates of my life:

2 of my hamsters passed away which left me upset. I understand that human live and die what's more about a small animal whose lifespan is only 2 years+. Well, living things are just so fragile. Either we get old and passed away or met with a fatal accident or worst still- illness... Sometimes i wonder, what if one day i just leave this world suddenly, what would it be like? Just the same old saying, treasure your life and live like there's no tomorrow: who can really do it? *thinking*

I just read thru one of my friend's blog. I felt very guilty. Felt really bad, cause i wasn't there when she needed support. Now all i can do, is to hide within myself and wish her all the best!

Somehow, i felt that I have been drifting away from my friends and family as I am always occupied with work (or is it just an excuse?.. I don't know) I find that i do not have time for myself on weekdays. On weekends, i go out for movie with dear and sleep through the night till Sun, only to find myself lethargic (stayed home) and drag myself to work on Monday again.

I don't know how long this can drags on as i am draining out physically and emotionally... guess i have to persevere till we fulfil our dreams..

Some positive note...congratulations to my 2 buddies on embarking on their new career which is also the beginning of our dreams! I believe that they can do it and they will succeed! For the sake of our dreams, buddies! Me and sihui will be working hard on $$(haha!) and support u all the way! CHeers!

I guessed that's all for today. Might be going to the doctor tomorrow if still not well after a night's rest... Lemming for N76! anyone wanna sponsor me? *dreams on**

2007-07-08T16:17:00.000+08:00

all i want is to return home, the place where i can be myself, do stuffs that i want, no restrictions and cry my heart out... all i want..

2007-06-20T09:04:00.000+08:00

here i am, down with blocked nose... going to work later as i got to stay late tonight. Just did some personality tests:

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself: Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love: Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education: You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

The Real You

Here is the analysis:
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.

Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

haha... some are quite true though as i will remind myself of who i am as we tend to take on other roles as we are too immersed in work life...

2007-06-17T11:48:00.000+08:00

Been busy with the 3 centres' family day and jurong had their family day yesterday and mine would be this coming sat.. STRESSED.....

anyway i came across this email which was funny yet true to all the working personnel

WHEN U COME TO WORK..........

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Last one is ultimate....
..
..
..
..
..
Saturday & Sunday !!!

haha!!!

2007-06-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

I must have been busy or rather plain lazy to update my blog.. hahah! anyway some updates of my life...

i was away in genting for my birthday (again??..haha..) which should be HK or Bangkok but had to make changes due to the RTRC seminar on Sat! wad to do.. make do with genting then.. hehe!

Back in S'pore, facing reality: my horrible-cum-terrible parents and of cos not to forget the terrifying kids! hehe.. not all but some of them are my lil' darlings... miss 'em though!

well, my job has an never-ending story as now we are busy preparing for the upcoming carnival on 23 June yet i've not done anything yet! OOpps! But i had frequent meetings and updates with my teachers on their progress.. after this, we would be busy with PTC, celebrations and not to forget our most stressful graduation concert! hahaa!

back to now... i am having my 'auntie visit'; one which upsets me every month with cramps till my menopause.. oh.. how long will that be? 20+ or 30+ yrs?? OH.. Dread this thought of mine!!

anyway.. i am off to bed! right now i am missing some of my frenz especially seowli.. dear gal.. take care ya! i am just a phone call away.. muackz!

2007-04-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

At times, i feel down and depressed. Life's so meaningless as i just worked hard everyday only to find myself dead tired on bed. I happened to chance upon this inspiring quote which adds meaning to my life as an early childhood educator:

I Am a Teacher

I am a counselor and psychologist to a problem-filled child,I am a police officer that controls a child gone wild.

I am a travel agent scheduling our trips for the year;I am a confidante that wipes a crying child's tear.

I am a banker collecting money for a ton of different things;I am a librarian showing adventures that a storybook brings.

I am a custodian that has to clean certain little messes;I am a psychic that learns to know all that everybody only guesses.

I am a photographer keeping pictures of a child's yearly growth,When mother and father are gone for the day, I become both.

I am a doctor that detects when a child is feeling sick,I am a politician that must know the laws and recognize a trick.

I am a party planner for holidays to celebrate with all;I am a decorator of a room, filling every wall.

I am a news reporter updating on our nation's current events,I am a detective solving small mysteries and ending all suspense.

I am a clown and comedian that make the children laugh,I am a dietician assuring they have lunch or from mine I give them half.

When we seem to stray from values, I become a preacher,But I'm proud to have to be these people because ...

I'm proud to say, "I am a teacher."

Some people feels that being a teacher is an easy task: All you need is to teach ABC, 123, change diapers etc. But i am sorry to say that this concept is outdated. We are building the foundation of tomorrow as you will never know who will be the next minister or great person. So don't belittle us, teacher or early childhood educators cause you never know whom you are dealing with! That's all! Cya!!

2007-04-19T08:23:00.000+08:00

anyone misses me??? I have been too lazy and tired to update. My school is having an OpenHouse for these 2 coming saturdays and i'll be having 1st aid training on these two coming sundays which means i'll be at centre for straight 14 days!! anyone has room to rent at east area?

latest updates!!
We have been spending much on meals! We went to The Mussels Guys at Vivo. The mussels were delicious but the main course were so-so only. I spent $80++ just for the 2 of us. Honestly, only the mussels in sambal sauce can make it..We have been going to restaurants which were a lil too extravagant! our wallets are badly damaged and for now we have to eat $2 mee pok for the rest of the month till our next pay comes!

We bought rollerblades together with his sis, Joey! ahha.. i had fallen umpteen times than only i could stand on my own. Now i am able to glide smoothly and learning to brake "SAFELY".

I took leave today as i need a break badly as i been having terrible headaches these few days. My head are spinning and my body are worn out. Need more zest to move on! Cheers on!!!

2007-01-21T16:31:00.000+08:00

This time round, I realised that i have been too selfish. I only think of myself and neglected the people around me. I wish i could make certain decisions.

I thought that i was happy but i was wrong. I had chose the escape route out which was easier. Yet I caused the people around me even more miserable. Haiz..

I have long forgiven him but his actions proved otherwise. I know that he is no longer the same as he have aged. His backview made me teared. I am caught in between as both are so dear to me. I wish someone could enlighten me and save us from this. I sent him a msg, hoping that he would wake up. Dun wait till he regrets it..

None has ever forsake him despite the things he have done, although we are angry but we nv gave up. I hope that he would wake up after this incident.

I have failed my responsiblity and duty as one. I am able to educate and support others but failed for him. I am such a failure. I am sure she feels the same way as me.

I pray that things would be better and hope he will think it through.

2006-12-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

HOHoho! Merry X'Mas!!! its approaching the end of a year and we are heading to a new year 2007!! I will be one year older!! Bohoho...

This year has been quite a smooth year except for some period of time when i was in financial difficulties. I took up the post of a principal which means the beginning of a new career, it was a new experience and i have learnt alot. With the support of my teachers and staffs, I hope to do a better job next year!!

I met up with my sec sch friends.. my confidante and buddies who walked with me.. they stood by me as we grew up. Now we are into another stage of life where we are either pursuing studies or working. But glad that we are all doing well and our friendship lasts...

(Left to Right) ZhiHong, Shixian, Yeechong, Vincent, Darren & me!

With the addition of Irene!

My buddies who have been with me since I was 16yrs old!! We slogged through poly days, survived our uni days, from babies inc till today- Degree Graduates!!! S0 proud of ourselves! Although we did not really score well for our studies but we scored high for our friendship! Cheers to you!!

We have been really busy with our won work and life but nevertheless we would make an effort to meet up and lame together! wahhaa!

To my buddies: Work harder for our own 'dream centre' buddies!!

Congratulations to my buddy's sis for the arrival of her baby girl- Yu Xi Zhen! The beginning of a new life, the beginning as parents! Hope she grows up happily and be strong like her mum and aunts!

Tat's all for today!! Take care and enjoy this holiday!!

2006-11-21T11:18:00.000+08:00

I've been too lazy to update.

I am feeling empty inside me.. I feel so lost and bored. My life have been nothing except work, dinner with dear and sleep. Life has been monotonous for me....

At work, i am busy with concert stuffs; stressed with staff work attitude; leave clearance etc.. When will i get a break from these? I feel so pressurized.. Haiz...

When i woke up this morning, i felt so lousy... dun feel like doing anything at all.. just let me rot.. in the end, i took half day leave to sleep in longer...

I am tired of my life as this goes on.. its becoming meaningless... I am doing things for others.. never for myself..

Hope my life would be better as well as for my buddy*
*(Although we seldom keep in contact now, I'll always be here you dear gal. Just drop me a msg or ring whenever you need a listening ear. )

In life, not everything is within our control...

I wanan do something to my hair when my payday comes!!! Its in a complete mess as my life is!!

2006-09-11T21:14:00.000+08:00

Went for a photo shoot with my buddies on Sat. I was freaking tired as i rushed there after work, the whole shoot took us 4 hrs!!! We met a super attitude family there and we were kind enough to let them interupt our shoot halfway as they said they need to rush off. But not even a smile from them, so damn pissed off.. should be insisted to let them wait cos we were there first.. so much for being kind.

Anyway we enjoyed ourselves during the shoot, making fun and laughing at each other.. how tired it was just to take a graduation shoot. Can you imagine what about a marriage shoot.. dunno how to survive.. think i better sleep for 3 days 2 nights before the shoot.. hehe!

Alright.. lets enjoy our self-taken photo:

me & my buddy(Melody)

Ruth & Sihui

the 4 kittens!! buddies forever!!!

After the shoot, we were too hungry and headed to one of our favourite restaurant- Ichiban Sushi!! Haha!! As teachers get together, what can be their discussion topic besides kids, parents and centre!

Pretty ladies..LOOK HERE!!

Well tat's all! Shall update again!! =)

2006-09-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

Back from malacca trip!! I went with my company- ex-colleagues from bukit batok and my staffs. We enjoyed ourselves in this trip which has help to bond us closer. Let the pictures show and tell:

1ST DAY- At the Nonya Restaurant after check-in

Teachers gathering- games & dinner together with bukit batok staffs!

In the KTVon our 1st night!

2ND DAY- Morning breakfast on the 2nd day with our bosses!

Our Trishaw ride to Makhota Parade for shopping! Yeah!

At the historical site...

To be continued....

2006-09-09T10:50:00.000+08:00

At the poolside.. sexy ladies look here!

In the SPA.. letting go of our stress..

Exhausted after a long day and time for dinner!!

We were too tired on our 3rd day as we went for our last minute shopping again before heading back to Singapore. Total damage = S$200+++

It was a fun trip and we have planned for our next outing- BBQ session on 23rd Sept 2006! Looking forward!

2006-08-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

Happy belated bday to my dear! though we did not have a wonderful day with ppl who sucks but glad that we ended the day with sweet moments!

On sunday, we spent the whole afternoon washing dear's new KIA Cerato car! Got myself so wet!!

Today, I went to the Child Care Seminar 2006 'Strengthening Early Childhood Community' Some sessions were interesting but others were boring.. I left in the mid of the 2nd concurrent session with my Bt Batok Principal and went to collect my parchment. Afterwhich I returned to attend the last part of the session which was quoted as important by the licencing officer. I went shopping alone after the Seminar while waiting for dear to pick me up, he lost his way and actually spent $5 through the ERPs. Hahah!

Anyway we finally met up and went for dinner at the newly-renovated Newton Market! Yummy delicious food!

Dear's super attitude Angel which he claims to be cute..Urgh.. look at that face of hers! One word "Dao"!

2006-08-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

my 3rd visit to the doc.. this time i am diagnosed with Bronchitis.. haiz.. i am stuck at home.. bored to death.. pls help!!!

sorry to my buddies for not being able to attend the talk and had to postponed the photo shot..

2006-08-11T12:37:00.000+08:00

been stuck at home for the past 4 days.. with ongoing high fever and persistant coughing.. doc said i am down with some kinda lung infection which causes the fever... this was how i spent my hols..

actually planned to go shopping with heidi but was cancelled due to my sickness.. everyone been asking.. why i so weak one?? haiz.. dunno how long this illness will persist.. i been waking up in the middle of night with high fever and coughed so badly tat my lower abdomenon pain is killing me..

wonder how am i going to attend the seminar and our pre-planned graduation photo studio tomorrow!!! haiz.. hope i will get over this soon..

I am in long slacks and jacket as my temp is rising yet feeling cold..

2006-08-07T10:58:00.000+08:00

Who are you in your past life?

Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Thailand around the year 700. Your profession was that of a monk (nun), bee-keeper or lone gunman.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:Inquisitive, inventive, you liked to get to the very bottom of things and to rummage in books. Talent for drama, natural born actor.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:Your lesson is to learn discretion and moderation and then to teach others to do the same. Your life will be happier if you help those who lack reasoning.

Wanna know your past life? Look into: http://thebigview.com/pastlife/index.html

2006-07-23T16:17:00.000+08:00

WHICH BABY ARE YOU??

FYI, I am a MAY baby! as described:

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. [true enough]
Strong-willed and highly motivated. [hmm.. sometimes]
Sharp thoughts. [not sure]
Easily angered. [Eh.. need to check this out..]
Attracts others and loves attention. [maybe]
Deep feelings. [deep??]
Beautiful physically and mentally. [maybe]
Firm Standpoint. [wish i could.]
Needs no motivation. [wahaha =P]
Shy towards oppisite sex. [sure??]
Easily consoled. [hmm.. thinking]
Systematic (left brain). [not sure]
Loves to dream. [definitely!! without any doubts!!]
Strong clairvoyance. [..weak command of english.. clairvoyage??]
Understanding. [sometimes..]
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. [more of neck and back..]
Good imagination. [yeap..lots of craps and nonsense]
Good physical. [i doubt so]
Weak breathing. [could be]
Loves literature and the arts. [huh?!?]
Loves traveling. [who doesn't wish if one has the $$ power]
Dislike being at home. [sometimes when i need my personal time and space]
Restless. [yesh when i am tired out]
Not having many children. [i'll tell u in future]
Hardworking. High spirited. [depends..]

being me.. i am always indecisive.. what do i want.. hope i would be strong... hope so..

2006-07-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

sorry to all! i've been very busy since i started my new post as principal over at marine parade branch. 2 of my staffs has left due to health and family issues so i had to take over their position in the meantime as a cleaner and infant staff nurse. Imagine me sweeping, mopping the floor in the morning and helping out with the infant side in the afternoon.. been tired out totally! anyway i finally got a new cleaner and staff nurse, hope all will be fine!

some updates in my life, i've finally graduated!!! hurray!!!

Buddies power!

my aunts, uncle, cousin and my buddy!

some bad news though.. my hamster passed away le.. i was so upset and cried.. he had been with me for 2 yrs plus le.. he brought back lots of memories to me.. haiz..

anyway i just went for beehui's 21st birthday party yesterday.. just a meet up and sharing session.. after which i drop dead on the bed.. too exhausted..

feeling down and moody.. think i better catch some beauty sleep soon.. nite to all! shall update again!

2006-06-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

Just came back from dear's house after the World Cup (Serbia and Montenegro vs. Netherlands) match. So tired now.. been catching the WC live matches these few days.. haha! soccer fever!! Too bad i dun have SCV so have to run around catching it live!

Feeling a little stressed now about going to work tomorrow as my principal has informed the unit heads about my promotion without notifying me! was upset initially as i wasn't prepared to let them know yet. Wanted to work peacefully for this coming Openhouse but feel that will be getting more stress this week as i feel higher expectations of me from them. Haiz...

Anyway, got to washup and chat with dear for awhile before i hit the sack and prepare for tomorow's "battle"! Nites!!

been down with flu and cough again after the Feng-Mo episode.. =( when will i be healthy again?

2006-05-30T18:15:00.000+08:00

I've decided to take up the post despite of the long distance with encouragement and support from my friends, relatives, boss and principal. Thanks alot! I went through lots of consideration before i made up my mind.

I hesitated as i was afraid to step out of my current role and enter a new role. I was afraid i couldn't cope. With assurance from my boss and principal, they would give me their support which made me more relieved.

From next week onwards, i would be more busy coping with my BB(Bukit Batok) centre's Open-House, in-training for the principal position and MP(Marine Parade)'s Open-House too! I am getting excited and stressed as i would be "officially launch" as MP principal on 24 June. More things coming ahead of me.... Busy..Bbzzz

2006-05-27T09:19:00.000+08:00

i've been offered a principal position at my centre's Marine Parade branch. I am not worried or stressed about the distance but the job itself. Should i take it up?

What a nice belated birthday gift from my boss.

stressed..considering...

2006-05-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

Thanks to all for your birthday blessings!

Receive a few touching msg from a few of them whom we used to be very close friends but have pulled away due to different paths in life. I am happy that they could remember my birthday. our friendships started 9 years ago which have brought me lots of memories. Without them, I dunno how i could survived my sec sch days. They gave me the shoulder to cry on during sad times and were there with me to share laughter and joy. Thanks to all of you!

Life have indeed been different without you people but life still goes on as we get to know new people and direction in life. I miss those times and those were our days.

Thanks to my only dearest brother for that little surprise!

Dear brother, our family have been through lots of ups and downs and this is what our family are. We do not have a choice; we cant choose our family/ parents like i cant choose you either. We can only choose our future and the happiness we want. Although we have our usual conflicts, i love you all the same cause you are my only brother, my only closest kin in this world. We come from a conservative family and does not express ourselves well.
I love you and thanks for everything! =)

2006-05-23T00:36:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthday to myself!
Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy 22nd Birthday to me!
How time flies, it seems that i just celebrated my 21st bday few months back and now I have turned 22! OMG.. I am getting old! hehee!

Thanks dear for celebrating this special moment with me!

And thanks to my buddies for their birthday wishes! Thanks alot! =)

2006-05-20T16:18:00.000+08:00

I am suffering from Feng Mo, scientifically known as Urticaria. Having bad red patches and spots on my hands and legs. My fingers are red, swollen and painful and my feet soles are in pain.

They would clear away after taking taking each dose of medicine but my hands would appear red and itchy when in contact with water. I am feeling so terrible. Hope this goes away soon as it is making me veri frustrated with the itch and discomfort.

Why am i so unlucky to get all these illnesses? Why me? =( [even my hairstylist also asked: why my health so poor, always down with sickness.] Haiz.. hope i get well soon, cos it is killing me..

Anyway some positive updates-> I've got a new 6280 from my dear! yay! Although it is not a symbian phone but i am still loving it as i could download themes/games and play around with it unlike my old boring D500C.

I wish i could own a N80 or N71 but they are too ex, not within our budget. Loving this as my dear has the same phone as me! hehe! thanks dear! Tat's all, folks! i'll be stuck at home till my patches are cleared. what a 'fun' weekend to spend...

2006-05-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

I enjoyed this weekend a lot! Thanks dear! On Friday night, we watched MI III with his sis. Tom Cruise looks soo charming despite of his age. Overall it is a nice show.

On Saturday, we went Suntec and had Mache for breakfast-cum-lunch-cum-dinner (our very 1st meal for the day!) we were so hungry and ate lots of food and the food was wasted as we visited the toilet after that. Hehe.. dunno its due to over hunger or stomach upset…

After that, we shopped around and spent $40 on these cute little phone accessories as we got them from those capsule station. It was a tough time collecting just this set and we were left with many other characters.

Then I found a watch that I loved which dear promised to buy for me.. here it is!! With my fav white, red and purple display!

After that we rushed home to watch the election results. It was my 1st time being so interested as I was only 18 yrs old during the last election and wasn’t interested in such politics issue.

On Sunday, we rot at home and watched Zathura. Then I went to perm my hair for the first time and looked like this!

My mum and bro said that it wasn’t nice.. I was a little upset but I felt it looks alright although I am not used to it. Maybe have to wait a longer time since the curls were still tight. Hope it looks nicer then!

2006-05-01T09:58:00.000+08:00

We(Melody, Linxian, Sihui and myself) had Hi-tea at Swissotel Merchant Court hotel's Ellenborough Market Cafe to celebrate Sihui's birthday. It had a local-delicacy themed as we helped ourselves to the delicious food! It was quite affordable as we spent $20+ each- within our budget. haha! We spent around 2 hrs and left for our shopping!

I bought a Dorothy Perkins wristlet and Gio lycra tee! Loved them as it was a long time since i shopped.

We went PS, Orchard OG and walked down the street of Orchard. We wanted to look for a place and chill ouT. TCC and Coffee Club were full and we had to wait.. at last, we resorted to Starbucks beside California Fitness. Sat there and chatted for few hrs.. till 11+ den we decide to head home.

My buddy and I wanted to take cab back as we were tired and i was not feeling well due to 'auntie visit' On cab, we were on our way back then we changed plans and went Esplanade instead. Walked around, looking for pubs but we din like the atmosphere. Ended up at one of Clarke Quay pubs where we ordered beer and drank till it closed- 2.30am+

We had a long talk about ourselves, our career, our lives and such. It was a heart-to-heart talk which make me realise so much things which i've never ponder about. What do i really want? This has been a question which had donned on me all these years. It is such an easy question but a dumbfounded one as i was not able to come up with the answer. I don't really know what i want.. i was just flowing along with the stream...

Buddy, thanks for spending the night with me as the two of them must have hit the slack already. It was fate which brought us together and cherish this friendship, we might have lost touch for a long time but tat kinda friendship never fades no matter where we are. Thanks alot! loveya gals!

This was taken by the waiter but i still prefers the one taken by ourselves(below)! hehe! Artistic huh!?!

2006-04-11T20:52:00.000+08:00

here i am *achhoO!* down with flu again- blocked nose & ears & sore throat. Haiz.. everyone been saying the same thing to me: "Why u so weak, always sick one?" well, do i have a choice when my children are down with running nose and i caught it from them.

been upset with my pc stuffs. 1st my monitor was down, now using friend's monitor. 2ndly, my cpu was down and i lost all my documents & images in my D drive. Lucky i have a backup copy of my research paper, if not, i would be breaking down in front of the pc right now.

been feeling so tired and lethargic nowadays, might due to my low immune system. hope i get well soon! looking forward to GOOD FRIDAY! hurray!

2006-04-04T16:29:00.000+08:00

hip-hip-hurray!! hehe!

i am so happy, i received a Distinction for my research draft report! hahah! finally after slogging through those hard times, i am satisfied with this result and hope it would be the same for my final report!

Cant wait to finish the final report and goodbye to all those late nights.. now my late nights will be reserved for fun times only ! wahaha!

anyway i have got a new class ONCE AGAIN.. this time it is a N1 class(3 to 4 yrs), whom we, the teachers call "cartoons!" I'll be taking 4 classes in total, 2 Playgroups and 2 N1s. Imagine the lesson plans and materials i need to prepare for! wad a big joke.. HAiz!

I managed to transfer a girl to another class as she was stressing up ALL my new kids and parents.. she was literally fighting with me over a marker as if i was playing tug-of-war.

Overall my parents and children are fine except for a few who are rowdy.. must let them see my colours soon! *evil grin* no more climbing over my head!!! wahaha!