i feel so tired.. really tired.. feel like cutting all contacts from everyone..i need a rest.. a break desperately.. i just feel depressed..

finally i am at home.. alone in my own room.. facing my whole mess of belongings on the floor... i need to clear up my room before i start my assignment cos this environment is affecting my mood of working...
I just came back from the airport; went to send my mum as she is going to Taiwan for a week. When i got home, a sudden feeling of loneliness came over me.. i felt so alone and i hated this feeling since young but i feel so relieved to be back at my own home.. a long time since i been at home.. although this house sucks but this is where my feelings and emotions flow out naturally... especially back at this familiar spot where i used to face the pc for hours and hours.. sitting right here... where i am now..
i miss it, i do miss this home although i hate things that happens around in this house... cos this is where i grew up, where i had joy and also where my tears had been soaked though my sleepless night... nowhere can be replace my home where i can cry my heart out without affecting others and having a deep sleep; waking up only to find this familiar wrecked house and family.. and this is my home, being myself and being me..

i may be poor but i have a strong backbone!

i may not have as well-to-do family as yours.. i may be poor but i am independent and strong even without my parents... i DUN NEED you to say those things about me! At least i have a clear conscience and not feeling bad as i am able to support myself...
ALONE, i am able to survive well and far better than you!

sOoo unpROductive!

it has been a long since my last blog as i have been busy working and nothing else. Alot of unhappy things have been happening at work which stress me up, i really hate it. all of it are weighing me down- where have my happiness working with children went to? haIz..
today i've been rotting at home, except for creating this new layout- thanks to my dear help! =) i desperately need a good rest as i have not been catching up on my sleep lately. i wish to go on a shopping spree and relax myself but i am broke (pay shcool fees).

hope everything goes well for me in work and studies!
i miss all of you my dear friends especially when those in NS! =)

my wishlist

i just finished work... gt to start on my assignment soon.. currently 'night'dreaming.. having some wishes on my mind.. i shall note them down here
1) more time to rest & relax, spend time with my dear, friends & family
2) more $$ to give my family, settle my bills & lead a better life
3) less workload and working hours to spend time on my studies
4) do something to my hair & face.. more pimples popping out due to stress~haiz~
5) finish my due assignment asap so that i can rest more
6) my personal physical space to work and relax.
7) ppl around me would be more understanding with my situation
8) being more positive and happy
9) hope all my wishes and hopes to come true!

druNk~

yesterday after work till 4pm, i went town with my buddies. since duno how many donkey yrs since i went to town~ haiz.. sad.. no time for anything..
how much i hoped i could do my shopping but i was broke and was suppose to get a bday gift for a friend. i had to attend her 21st bday at the downtown east chalet later. i ate very little when i reached there... i guessed i was too tired.
in the end, i sat there drinking.. till my friend came along and wanna play with me.. den i drank quite alot till i was abit tipsy and stopped drinking. but i still helped my buddy to drink some when she lost.. i sat on the ground for some time, felt like vomitting but couldn't vomit at all. in the end, i forced myself to walk around and vomitted out. haha~ the plastic bag was almost half full.. all of them said i vomit soo much! haha =P
later my dear came fetch me and i vomitted again on our way back. i was too tired and went to bed immediately after a change of clothes.
somehow i felt that i got abit emotional last night when i started drinking and talked with my friends. duno why i felt so sad and helpless tat time, suddenly i just felt so tired of my life.. nt but all work and studies.. i am stressed but there is nt i can do.. i have to bear with it till i graduate in 2006. i NEED lots of strength, courage and encouragement! urgently urgently!

my oFF day~

finally i have an OFF day after slogging for so long. this past two weeks have definitely been a tiring week for me. . full shift (7-7) last week and having to work and attend night classes this week.

my body have finally broke down and complained... now i am down with a bad flu and the skin around my nose is so badly damaged and peeling off... haiZ~ i wanna see a doc but i dun even have the time unless i see a 24hrs clinic.. but its too ex..

hope i get well soon.. i can rest for this whole morning before i go for my night class tonight~ take care friends.. this would be all for my lastest updates..

shaG!!!

i just woke up! and its going to be 9pm on a sunday nite! oH gosh.. i have slept sooo long.. throughout the day. i was too tired.. on saturday morning, i went back to my centre at 8am to pack things for the new centre. I worked through the nite till 4am- sunday morning. this setting up of the new centre has driven me crazy... i almost worked 24 hrs for it! haha! just unbelievable!
now i am here.. sitting in front of the home.. suffering from tiredness and flu.. i am too tired to do anything... this week, i would be having lessons in the night after work.. bless me!

tk care all my dear friends! and lastly, i wanna wish my dear friend, seowli, a happy 20th birthday! welcome into the 20s world! hehe =)

my current life

basically, my life is so packed with my work and studies that i do not have any time for anything else. every weekday is occupied with my work and in the night i need to go for night classes. my energy is practically draining away. on weekends, i would need to go back to my centre on sat and sleep through my sunday. this was how i spent my whole 7 days for the previous week. i had only 2-3 hrs of sleep everyday cos i had to do up some hanging mobiles for the new expanding centre. haIz.. too shag for anything~
this week i do not have lessons at night but i do feel the strain abt my studies as i have not done any reading up yet. i need more time! well.. ppl say we need to learn to manage our time but i DUN even have ANY time for me to manage too.. my life is already pre-scheduled with all these work and things just goes on.
last week, i went for my NP graduation day and had taken some pics... no time to upload yet~ will post them soon.. keep u posted again! tk care all my dear frenz!

happY natioNal daY!!

happY birthdaY to Singapore! nice birthday to fall on a Monday where usually everyone would have monday blues~ hehe...
i am here at home, just woken up~ hope to go somewhere nice and enjoy my day but guessed it would be crowded everwhere~ not much to my liking. =) suddenly have the urge to have a nice meal to fill up my grumpy stomache =P hope my dear sees this and he gets the hint! =PPP wahha! nottY me~

hope u all like my new layout though its not done personally~ taken from others :) its my fav pinKy!! pinK pink~ mY hoT fav!