hospital trip..

i have been so tired lately although i have graduated. Today i was in the hospital practically for more than 12 hrs; waiting for my uncle to undergo the operation. it was a long day as i reached there early, awaiting for his op but it was delayed till 2pm... we waited till 10 plus den he was pushed out of the operating theatre. he was in a daze but could feel that he is in pain as he could not speak out or moved at all. i felt so bad n sad to see him in such pain.. haIz.. when i reached, he told me he was feeling scared, i consoled him by about my beloved grandma who went thru much more then all my pain n worries would go away. hope it had helped; we kept talking to him to distract his attention as he was in hunger and worried.
i am so glad that he is fine and the op is successful. anyway i am going to ZZzz soon. tomorrow will be visiting him again and going for a tea session at RTRC. tk care peePs!

I have graduated! haha.. this is the day i have been waiting for; after this tortureous 3 years of poly life.. to other poly students, they might have lead an easier and simple life but not for me or rather our ech students! our lives were hard and there were tears, laughters, quarrels, sorrows and happiness too! the 3 yrs had been occupying my time, mind and spiritual totally. now when i am done with all these, i am left with that Dip and my own future to fight for. hMM... wad am i going to do next?
i have planned to further my studies in this early childhood.. but what would be next? in life, we do not really plan everything.. do we? when we wanted to be a policeman/lawyer/fire fighter/ teacher when we were young, it usually doesn't turn out so... so i will tk a step at a time.
i would nv thought i would be a teacher one day too! its just so hard to imagine... hehe! in my lives, there were not much teachers who had really left footprints in my heart.. maybe not those who really changed my life but there were those who have been there for me when i was down..
it seems that i may be satisfied with my life but am i? is this wad i wan? maybe for the time being.. i think so... life is so unpredictable.. like the nicoll highway incident.. i felt so sorry for the casualties especially their family members..
back of my mind i was thinking.. everyone of them were doing their part; working hard to provide for the family but why they come to this end? haiz.. why do god tk away those who had done well as a person and also for the society? but on the other hand, i was relieved that there was not much traffic at that point of time when it would be usually be heavy traffic; thus lesser victims. no matter wad, i believed in every part of singapore, there would be ppl praying hard for them; hoping things would be better for the families.
i remembered few years ago, there was a big hOo-hA abt the meteor stars appearing in singapore. every seaside would be crowded with ppl, waiting to catch a glimpse of it. i was sitting there, with my aunt and uncle... waiting for it to appear.. suddenly.. "shOO" it went past in the blink of an eye. i prayed hard. what did i pray for? my aunt asked. i replied "world peace" she looked quite shocked and kept quiet.. but i knew what was going thru at the back of her mind. when my friends asked, i replied the same.. some even laughed at me for making such a wish. thinking back now, why would i choose to make this wish when i was facing some turmoil in my own life then; when i should have wished something personal abt my life.. i duno.. i just felt tat noone life would be any better if there were wars happening.. i just wished for everyone life and well-being.
to all my dear friends, nothing can be worse off in life. its only when u cant learn to cope and live with it, u r nothing good compared to anything. tk care...
anyway i have just changed my layout again.. loves this song alot as i believed there would be someone out there who have touched your life once.. and that once is more than enough we can ask for.

feeling upset n heart-broken

it had been a long time since i blog again but i have feeling so upset and moody these few weeks becos of my fyp project. Although it is coming to an end and our group should be happy and celebrating, but it seems that our 3 yrs of friendship r coming to an end too. i have been feeling so "outcasted" these few weeks and i think just becos of that box. is our friendship taken so lightly that it doesn't worth a thing just becos of that misunderstanding... i really duno. u nv know how i feel when u all meet up and enjoy while i am kept in the dark about it. it was only during another of our gathering and u shared about all those fun moments but i knew nothing about it. then i would rather not know if u had nv meant to ask me along. I am not being petty about all these but i would rather u have told me and talked things out. Am i not one of your group? physically i seem to be but emotionally i dun feel so. i feel that i am just an extra and is so unimportant in this group- i am just being there becos i am your grp members, no emotional strings attached. everything that was important were taken by u all, all i took was those minor things that wasn't worth a heck.
u can nv know how sad i was when u told our advisor that u were going to gif that box to them and it was like 3 of you knew abt it and have already decided. I did not know anything about it at all! when i sounded so disappointed, all of u were like : "Fine! we can also come up with another one without you!" and all these negative feelings came up. all of u worked on it quietly as i had to pretend nothing happened.
u nv know what i went through when i came up with the box,i had injured my hand and back. so i treasured them very much and wasn't willing to give up the other box either for the school.
now i am thinking, should i stay on with this grp for our degree too since i felt so unimportant and not being valued. i am having lots of second thoughts about this trip, our degree programme and the work. tomorrow would be our last day of poly life as i duno how should i be coping with all these mixed feeligns within me. yes, i would be upset and all those teary moments. but how about u gals, i really duno. i treasure this friendship dearly but how abt u?