Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Alot of things have changed. It will never be the same again.
Life has to move on and I am learning to let go of the heavy burden. I am grateful to have my friends, family and him to stand by me.
It was heartening to hear from her especially when she is miles away. Really thanks alot. At times it is difficult to share with ppl around us as there is always an emotional attachment to it thus may affect judgement. Worry about how ppl are going to look at us, observe our behaviour and what is running through their mind.
To think back, We had a silly pact in our younger days. I guessed it's all these memories and promises which keeps us going. As quoted by a friend:" once a friend, forever A friend."

Another year is reaching the end yet I feel I have not accomplished much. I am being thrown back to square one, the same place where I was then.

Moving on, don't know what is ahead. Where is the courage and strength. What am I doing it for and why?? It feels kinda trap in a circle without any angle to see from. Just going round and round only to be chasing my own shadow, myself.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

it has been a long time since my last post. My life has been pretty mundane with work, burning midnight oil, work, bf and friends. Somehow i am grateful to have caught up with friends who has been supportive and willing to give me listening ear to my heartfelt words and feelings. They can understand my feelings and thoughts yet they can help me view from another perspective. I could really pour my heart out to them~ without any withold or awkwardness.

I guessed along the way~ I have lost and gain some friendship. At least to me, i feel comfortable talking to them about anything under the sun.

I am not sure if the decision is settled which is making me upset as I do not know whether to let go and move on. I hate the sense of feeling lost, that kinda sense of uncertainty about things.

Thanks to ppl who have been walking along with me; giving me the support and concern. Thanks to friends who spent the nights with me although they are also caught up with their own stuffs.

But i felt sorry for some who really cared but I could not be there, physically or emotionally.

I guessed I am down with alot of emo stuffs that are unsettled thus i chose to close myself up. I need strength to walk on....