Outlook of life

In life, sometimes it's better not to look at things too clearly; you may see more flaws.. Thus it's better to leave things as it is..



Love caroline~

love,, pasts.. regrets...life...

My nose was blocked and throat was sore, couldn't sleep well. So i woke up at 5am plus to surf net as usual. I came across a blog where it was about 2 people in love; simple pleasures in life with each other's accompany.

It made me think back about my past relationships, my love journey till today. There were sweet moments with my loved ones which were just so pure and innocent. Without any bad intentions and it started with a simple word: Love. Times were so sweet and wonderful then as it seems that the world just revolves around us. There was no time or space for another person in each other's heart and mind.

Then i met him which i regretted that relationship which lasted for 3 yrs; a total waste of my life but yet I can't do anything because I chose him. Everyone had been telling me not to sank into it but I chose to. Stepping out of it now, it made me realise how ugly this world is; with such bad attitude and outlook in life. That was a total nightmare for me; throwing me into cold water to suffer then back to life, I guessed that was when my perception of love changed. That kinda pure and innocent love which i believed in was all gone. You took away all my trust and faith in love. I was thrown into burden which noone know yet I had to behave like nothing had happened and life still moves on. Till today, i am still stuck at that place, hard to move on...

I am glad to meet my new love who dotes on me. He may not be perfect but I hope he will be true to me because I had been through some which I did not believed that it would happen to me. It was a total shock to me yet I chose to move on because I love him. i do not deny that this path was tough because to forgive and forget is tougher than said.

Trust was broken and had to be earned, Sense of security was lost and required to rebuild again. I don't know how long or how far we can walked together hand-in-hand but i will continue to walk on and choose to believe in you all over again...

Thanks for being there for me whenever I am down..




My life has been occupied with work, love and family. I used to wonder what's my goal in life? Previously I wished to set up a centre with my buddies, somehow the wish came true but all came to an halt.. I missed those times with our crazy laughters, tired nights going through portfolios, staying overnights and so on... Time can never be turned back but I do not regret leaving as I have faced a different side of life.. Just that I missed you gals.. Don't know if u gals feel the same but things will nv be the same again.. 最熟悉的陌生人 could be the phrase to describe our friendships. I used to think of them being my Jie Mei when I get married with their blessings.. It's such a wonderful scene.. But now I don't know how it would be like. I don't dare to think abt it but I miss u all alot.

Anyway, I missed my friends' laughters, lame jokes and craziness too.. As we are getting older, one by one settle down with families then with kids.. It's a happy scene yet on the other hand, my parents and family are getting older. Walking behind them, I can see them walking slowly yet trying to keep up with our steps but their hairs are greying and faces wrinkled.

I can't imagine my life without their noises, nagging and quarrels. Somehow all these have become part of my life. We are a conservative family and do not express ourselves readily but I would like to say: I love you mummy and daddy despite my unhappy childhood but aunt and uncle has always been there to pull the bridge between us.

I am getting emo maybe because I am tired. The last episode in my life when I ended my 2009 will always stay with me cos somehow I lost 3 dearest friendship somehow somewhere.... I manage to walk through those saddest moments with my friends like weizhang and weejia who spent the nights counselling and talking to me. Elsa's comforting words helped alot though she was miles away. My aunt and uncle constant calls and concerns to ensure I am alright.

I choose to smile and walk over it but it's always tough whenever I think of them... Misses...

I will choose to end this 2010 with a happy note with my loved ones. Because time is not on my side, I have so much things to do yet so little time...

I missed all those who love me too..




Love caroline~