Alot of things have changed. It will never be the same again.
Life has to move on and I am learning to let go of the heavy burden. I am grateful to have my friends, family and him to stand by me.
It was heartening to hear from her especially when she is miles away. Really thanks alot. At times it is difficult to share with ppl around us as there is always an emotional attachment to it thus may affect judgement. Worry about how ppl are going to look at us, observe our behaviour and what is running through their mind.
To think back, We had a silly pact in our younger days. I guessed it's all these memories and promises which keeps us going. As quoted by a friend:" once a friend, forever A friend."

Another year is reaching the end yet I feel I have not accomplished much. I am being thrown back to square one, the same place where I was then.

Moving on, don't know what is ahead. Where is the courage and strength. What am I doing it for and why?? It feels kinda trap in a circle without any angle to see from. Just going round and round only to be chasing my own shadow, myself.

it has been a long time since my last post. My life has been pretty mundane with work, burning midnight oil, work, bf and friends. Somehow i am grateful to have caught up with friends who has been supportive and willing to give me listening ear to my heartfelt words and feelings. They can understand my feelings and thoughts yet they can help me view from another perspective. I could really pour my heart out to them~ without any withold or awkwardness.

I guessed along the way~ I have lost and gain some friendship. At least to me, i feel comfortable talking to them about anything under the sun.

I am not sure if the decision is settled which is making me upset as I do not know whether to let go and move on. I hate the sense of feeling lost, that kinda sense of uncertainty about things.

Thanks to ppl who have been walking along with me; giving me the support and concern. Thanks to friends who spent the nights with me although they are also caught up with their own stuffs.

But i felt sorry for some who really cared but I could not be there, physically or emotionally.

I guessed I am down with alot of emo stuffs that are unsettled thus i chose to close myself up. I need strength to walk on....

你认为对我好的东西或事情，并不是我想要的。。

我想要的只是那么简单。。。

Don't need to put me down!!! at least i do not do things against my conscience or to hurt anyone...

Maybe some things are better left unsaid~

Emotions and thoughts to be kept unmentioned...

Because life still goes on... there is no time for anyone else but to move on~

It should not be hurting at all~


Smile and live on like there is no tomorrow...

maybe i should not have taken it up in the first place.. then would not have to face today's situation...

Life can be so tiring, filled with ups and downs. When i thought things are looking well and is on a positive note, a pail of cold water just poured over me. I cant help but feel very disappointed and upset. When you believed you have put in lots of effort but what you get is just a piece of paper which says: Failed, Needs Improvement. I dunno what else I can do.

Sometimes i feel i am hanging in midair, dunno which direction to go; feeling lost and just following the majority. Maybe i am just making people around me happier by doing it or just because i lost my direction.

I need encouragement to keep me going, not just a pail of cold water; leaving me cold and helpless.

i felt so loved~ here i am being quarantined at home.. wondering how to spend my time till i fell alseep again.. when i woke up.. he turned up at my doorstep with lunch! ohhh~~ i was worried if his parents would mind....but i dropped my tears when i saw him as i missed him terribly and was feeling so down..

thanks my dear~ =) you made my day!

i have to self-quarantine for the next 7 days.. =( because one of my family is down with H1N1... never expect my family to be one of them.... haiz.. guess its too common... hopefully i would not get it because i am a high risk suspect now... i dread staying in hospital, rather stay home instead...

i would be online for the next few days... chat with me if you are free because i am too bored! a good way to keep myself away from work though, time to relax... hehe...

any nice websites to recommend which i can spend time on... time for me to catch up on some work as well.. =)

bye!

life just sucks.. just so upsetting... i hate the way it is... hate it to the core!!!!!!

sorry.. i have no other venue to voice out my frustrations and anger... sounds so pathetic ya... haiz...

what to say... i am just plain lazy and busy to blog... when i am free, i am lazy to write about my life because my FB seems to be more more active as my friends would tag me in the photos.. hehe.. in conclusion, i depend on FB to update my life and my friends too!

i just met up one of my sec sch mate.. it was a heart warming chat.. where we talked about our past, future and goals in life. I guess i have really grown after so many years with my ups and downs in life. Sometimes its just great to meet ur friends whom you used to spend everyday of your life before. When we encounter certain stuffs in life, some changes would be faced as there are decisions made. Some friends are meant for life where some just leave footprints... he taught me: once a friend, forever a friend. I guess this pulled us closer as it is an agreement between us.

i miss my dear friends, although i do not meet u up or chat often. i do update myself with FB or from friends too.. hehe.. but do not throw me a red bomb without notice ya.. been hearing lots of red bomb recently...
)
anyway.. may joy bask in her happiness and be 'joyous' always! =)

It was a nice long chat with a friend whom we used to share times and memories.. thinking back to the past, we did lots of silly things together...

It was a wonderful night for self reflection.... the paths we have crossed... the things that we have done.. the friends whom we have made along the way... people whom we used to hold dearly only to lose them... and the ups & downs in life...

Well... i realise he is still the simple guy yrs back.. not much changes but we have both grown so much... we have matured over the years.. yet still as fun loving... or maybe i do changed alot after falling and getting up on my feet for umpteen times... so much so that i wondered if i have changed or my friends are still stagnant at that stage... i dunno...

But definitely enjoy the company of my friends.. which i hope to spend a day or maybe just a night with them for my birthday celebration.. i do miss them alot...

Attended my company DnD last night, the theme was Shanghai Nights! It was an eye-opener yet somewhat boring event.. here are some pictures of my staffs:

did not take much pictures as we were busy eating~ all of us were too hungry... hehe.. i have more photos with my staffs.. shall upload again when i have time! =)

our lives are usually filled with happiness, regrets, hatred and emotions.. at certain point, people tend to ponder and reflect about the life they are leading now.. is it a decision that they have made or is it due to external factor?

when one places trust in someone but only to realise that the trust is being misplaced.. when you thought happiness is here but actually what you see is on the surface... when hatred are deep rooted inside you, can you really smile and laugh as if nothing has happened?

humans are getting more complicated.. as feelings together with society pressure becomes more complex... its getting tougher to interact with people around...

human complex nature is something that is simple yet complicated just like me.. i am a simple yet complicated gal with a complex mind.... i am getting tired...

i am STUCK at home... just because i cant find my house keys.. asked my buddies to search for them in school but nowhere to be found.. so here i am.. waiting for my mum to be back before i be back in school.. sorry buddies...

some updates of my life:
recently been busy with accounts & foreign worker application.. i did not change my field.. Just that there are more scopes to cover since i went into my business with my buddies...

Currently we are in the midst of setting up an Infant Care too.. so alot of preparation work to be done.... =) so i be booking into Bukit Panjang Camp again! hehe.. friends may come uphill to visit me!

i neglected alot of my friends ever since i came to this school... practically i am only seeing my 3 buddies, baobei, my teachers, parents and children. I miss them alot especially my sec sch friends who have been asking me out but i always fly aeroplane... sorry peeps...

i am happy with my baobei around... he dotes on me and would give in to my wildness & crazyness which drives him into a corner at times... 就拿我没办法。。哈哈！！

but i got to apologize for my lateness everytime we meet because of work or poor time management.. he had to wait for me & give me a grumpy face... 对不起啦！！ but it would turn into a cheeky smile before volcano errupts... =P ......what to do.. i turned his life upside down! wahaha!

got to go back to my accounts while waiting for my mum to be back!

*p.s pls sms me if u have any job offer as one of my bestie is currently looking for one.. thanks!

bye!

for your viewing pleasure~

*at esplanade*

*from baobei*

*with my gifts*

*my gift to him*