Alot of things have changed. It will never be the same again.
Life has to move on and I am learning to let go of the heavy burden. I am grateful to have my friends, family and him to stand by me.
It was heartening to hear from her especially when she is miles away. Really thanks alot. At times it is difficult to share with ppl around us as there is always an emotional attachment to it thus may affect judgement. Worry about how ppl are going to look at us, observe our behaviour and what is running through their mind.
To think back, We had a silly pact in our younger days. I guessed it's all these memories and promises which keeps us going. As quoted by a friend:" once a friend, forever A friend."

Another year is reaching the end yet I feel I have not accomplished much. I am being thrown back to square one, the same place where I was then.

Moving on, don't know what is ahead. Where is the courage and strength. What am I doing it for and why?? It feels kinda trap in a circle without any angle to see from. Just going round and round only to be chasing my own shadow, myself.

it has been a long time since my last post. My life has been pretty mundane with work, burning midnight oil, work, bf and friends. Somehow i am grateful to have caught up with friends who has been supportive and willing to give me listening ear to my heartfelt words and feelings. They can understand my feelings and thoughts yet they can help me view from another perspective. I could really pour my heart out to them~ without any withold or awkwardness.

I guessed along the way~ I have lost and gain some friendship. At least to me, i feel comfortable talking to them about anything under the sun.

I am not sure if the decision is settled which is making me upset as I do not know whether to let go and move on. I hate the sense of feeling lost, that kinda sense of uncertainty about things.

Thanks to ppl who have been walking along with me; giving me the support and concern. Thanks to friends who spent the nights with me although they are also caught up with their own stuffs.

But i felt sorry for some who really cared but I could not be there, physically or emotionally.

I guessed I am down with alot of emo stuffs that are unsettled thus i chose to close myself up. I need strength to walk on....

你认为对我好的东西或事情，并不是我想要的。。

我想要的只是那么简单。。。

Don't need to put me down!!! at least i do not do things against my conscience or to hurt anyone...

Maybe some things are better left unsaid~

Emotions and thoughts to be kept unmentioned...

Because life still goes on... there is no time for anyone else but to move on~

It should not be hurting at all~


Smile and live on like there is no tomorrow...

maybe i should not have taken it up in the first place.. then would not have to face today's situation...

Life can be so tiring, filled with ups and downs. When i thought things are looking well and is on a positive note, a pail of cold water just poured over me. I cant help but feel very disappointed and upset. When you believed you have put in lots of effort but what you get is just a piece of paper which says: Failed, Needs Improvement. I dunno what else I can do.

Sometimes i feel i am hanging in midair, dunno which direction to go; feeling lost and just following the majority. Maybe i am just making people around me happier by doing it or just because i lost my direction.

I need encouragement to keep me going, not just a pail of cold water; leaving me cold and helpless.

i felt so loved~ here i am being quarantined at home.. wondering how to spend my time till i fell alseep again.. when i woke up.. he turned up at my doorstep with lunch! ohhh~~ i was worried if his parents would mind....but i dropped my tears when i saw him as i missed him terribly and was feeling so down..

thanks my dear~ =) you made my day!

i have to self-quarantine for the next 7 days.. =( because one of my family is down with H1N1... never expect my family to be one of them.... haiz.. guess its too common... hopefully i would not get it because i am a high risk suspect now... i dread staying in hospital, rather stay home instead...

i would be online for the next few days... chat with me if you are free because i am too bored! a good way to keep myself away from work though, time to relax... hehe...

any nice websites to recommend which i can spend time on... time for me to catch up on some work as well.. =)

bye!

life just sucks.. just so upsetting... i hate the way it is... hate it to the core!!!!!!

sorry.. i have no other venue to voice out my frustrations and anger... sounds so pathetic ya... haiz...