pissed off!!

i am sOOooo freaking bloody pissed off now.. everything and everyone is like forcing me to the end of life... there is no way i can stay happy anymore.. in this fuking house... i leave this house, putting aside my troubles and want to enjoy myself.. even this rights of mine has been restricted.. i hate everything to the core... wad's the point of living then?

ppl say being happy and happiness is most important in life.. am i happy? am i satisfied? NO..No no.. definitely NO! my family and work are all driving me nuts!!! i am breaking down almost every night... even when my tears r not rolling down my cheeks.. my heart is aching every moment... why does my own family have to do this to me... if they doesn't care den so be it.. anyway i am used to it already... but why wanna do things this way.. i hate u all!

...feeling down...

these few weeks have been a tough one for me... from the day i broke up with my ex till now.. things have been happening which i can hardly cope.. from personal to friendships to work to health to kinship..

friendships have been affected and there is definitely emotional scars in everyone's heart.. we are not as close nor happy as before... my health is breaking down once again and things were not as good as before.. my report is out.. i fell out with my most respected aunt/uncle and family... i feel like quiting my job but i have more difficulties at hand...

at times i felt like giving up everthing and dun wish to bother at all and lead my own life.. but is tat possible? friends who r close to me noes me better than anyone else.. haIZ..

anyway i am currently attached with a guy call alson.. ppl who duno me well might think i am just letting my emotions get the better of me cos of the things happening around.. but friends who really knows me will be able to understand and tat's all i have to say.
no matter how my friends might say or think of me, this is the guy who have walked with me thru all these while.. who stood by me when i was down and spent crazy times with me.. who tears in his heart when i cries, who laughs with me when i am happy and mad..

just wanna say thanks to him, my dear who have been emotionally supporting me and being there for me.. loveya..

i have started a new chapter of my life... my previous chapter has ended and is kept away far in my heart and mind as memories.. it has been very memorable as alot of things have happened and i have finally woke up from my dream.. a dream which is so sweet and wonderful.. things that i nv think i would be able to experience.. thanks to my ex.

right now, my life is back to pieces where i need to face my family and everything all over again.. i can no longer hide and its time for me to face up to reality... i got to know a new group of friends whom i have known for only a short time but yet alot has happened.. alot of friendships have been affected and my friendship with one of my best friend of 7-8 yrs has been greatly affected...

i know and understand tat all my friendships have somehow drifted apart as we are in a different world and lifestyle.. i myself have also chose to drift away as i need time to pick myself up again... i have lost myself these few years.. i wanna find my own happiness and cheerful self.. one who laughs and pass my happiness around.. =)

*p.s take care all my dear friends.. no matter where am i, i still misses u alot but i just need time to get up and find myself again..