i was down with a bad sore throat and lost my voice when i woke up this morning. i went to the doc and he said it was due to nose sensitivity which caused the sore throat. now i am on antibiotics again together with my previous medication. i felt like a 'medicine box' with loads of pills and tablets going into me.. haiZ


i went to meet my lecturer this evening to discuss about my research topic, finally had it done with his help: in wad way can an indoor & outdoor envt help to develop chn's language devt? hope tat i will have an outdoor area in my new unit, if not i would need to setup an outdoor envt in my classroom. can imagine how messy it would be and the look on my aunite cleaner. haha...


cant wait for fri to end and i would have finish my class. its tiring having to rush to and fro for both work and lesson. moreover its my dear's bday on fri! muackZ! although i wun be able to celebrate with him on fri becos he would be working on tat night and my class ends at 10pm, hope he would enjoy his bday celebration on sat night!


hurray to FrIdaY!! wahha! gtg.. feeling drowsy after the medication..byeZ

my night classes will be starting tommorow and i will be busy these 2 consecutive weeks. I am feeling the stress as it becomes heavier. I am worried that i wun be able to cope as these 2 modules are important- i need to select a topic to do my research on.


on the other hand, my work is stressing me too. my new teacher will be coming in which means i'll be changing to the new class soon- Nursery 1. I am supposed to be happy to leave my current class due to my chinese teacher but i am getting a lil stressed because of my studies. Wtih a new class, i got lots of things to do- building bonds with the new children and parents, doing up my classroom environment, understand the N1 curriculum and adapting to a new class.


My last day of class will be on 26 August and i will be taking the new class on 1st Sept. I have a report due on 2nd Sept. There are so many things that i need to cope with and adapt all over again. Pls give me strength to walk through these...



*P.S : do you understand what's going on my mind, i know that you wun cause i did not tell u. everytime i wanna share with you, you raised ur voice which makes me scared and have second thoughts. I really duno how to face you instead of keeping things to myself. I broke down in front of you because i feel at ease with you and hope to release the tension in me. But things did not turn out this way, i controlled my tears and i swallowed it again. I left because u told me someone would be unhappy not because i wanna leave you alone. I need someone with me and i miss u dearly cos i noe u wun be able to acc me which i nv blame you at all. I just want a hug from you for a sense of comfort and assurance. that's all i want.

here i am feeling lost, frustrated and upset with myself. i really doesn't know what's wrong with me.. i have been so quick-tempered and rebellious now. I hate the way things are especially myself!

I feel like giving up everything and lose grip of whatever i am holding onto.. i just feel so tired.. i need a rest desperately..

I just read through some of my previous posts since last year till now.. how much i have went through and how much i have grown? tears rolled down as i recalled those memories.

i realise that i have lost 'myself' once again.. which is the real me and what am i doing everyday and what about the rest of my life? seriously, i doesn't know the answer. i felt that i have changed alot during these period of time. i am less tolerance towards my family which i felt very bad and i have drawn away from them. I wish to find out and understand what's happening to me and what caused the change in me.. help!