Outlook of life

In life, sometimes it's better not to look at things too clearly; you may see more flaws.. Thus it's better to leave things as it is..



Love caroline~

love,, pasts.. regrets...life...

My nose was blocked and throat was sore, couldn't sleep well. So i woke up at 5am plus to surf net as usual. I came across a blog where it was about 2 people in love; simple pleasures in life with each other's accompany.

It made me think back about my past relationships, my love journey till today. There were sweet moments with my loved ones which were just so pure and innocent. Without any bad intentions and it started with a simple word: Love. Times were so sweet and wonderful then as it seems that the world just revolves around us. There was no time or space for another person in each other's heart and mind.

Then i met him which i regretted that relationship which lasted for 3 yrs; a total waste of my life but yet I can't do anything because I chose him. Everyone had been telling me not to sank into it but I chose to. Stepping out of it now, it made me realise how ugly this world is; with such bad attitude and outlook in life. That was a total nightmare for me; throwing me into cold water to suffer then back to life, I guessed that was when my perception of love changed. That kinda pure and innocent love which i believed in was all gone. You took away all my trust and faith in love. I was thrown into burden which noone know yet I had to behave like nothing had happened and life still moves on. Till today, i am still stuck at that place, hard to move on...

I am glad to meet my new love who dotes on me. He may not be perfect but I hope he will be true to me because I had been through some which I did not believed that it would happen to me. It was a total shock to me yet I chose to move on because I love him. i do not deny that this path was tough because to forgive and forget is tougher than said.

Trust was broken and had to be earned, Sense of security was lost and required to rebuild again. I don't know how long or how far we can walked together hand-in-hand but i will continue to walk on and choose to believe in you all over again...

Thanks for being there for me whenever I am down..




My life has been occupied with work, love and family. I used to wonder what's my goal in life? Previously I wished to set up a centre with my buddies, somehow the wish came true but all came to an halt.. I missed those times with our crazy laughters, tired nights going through portfolios, staying overnights and so on... Time can never be turned back but I do not regret leaving as I have faced a different side of life.. Just that I missed you gals.. Don't know if u gals feel the same but things will nv be the same again.. 最熟悉的陌生人 could be the phrase to describe our friendships. I used to think of them being my Jie Mei when I get married with their blessings.. It's such a wonderful scene.. But now I don't know how it would be like. I don't dare to think abt it but I miss u all alot.

Anyway, I missed my friends' laughters, lame jokes and craziness too.. As we are getting older, one by one settle down with families then with kids.. It's a happy scene yet on the other hand, my parents and family are getting older. Walking behind them, I can see them walking slowly yet trying to keep up with our steps but their hairs are greying and faces wrinkled.

I can't imagine my life without their noises, nagging and quarrels. Somehow all these have become part of my life. We are a conservative family and do not express ourselves readily but I would like to say: I love you mummy and daddy despite my unhappy childhood but aunt and uncle has always been there to pull the bridge between us.

I am getting emo maybe because I am tired. The last episode in my life when I ended my 2009 will always stay with me cos somehow I lost 3 dearest friendship somehow somewhere.... I manage to walk through those saddest moments with my friends like weizhang and weejia who spent the nights counselling and talking to me. Elsa's comforting words helped alot though she was miles away. My aunt and uncle constant calls and concerns to ensure I am alright.

I choose to smile and walk over it but it's always tough whenever I think of them... Misses...

I will choose to end this 2010 with a happy note with my loved ones. Because time is not on my side, I have so much things to do yet so little time...

I missed all those who love me too..




Love caroline~

When I received the news, I was both delighted and vexed. Delighted because the load has been removed from my shoulder but vexed because I am in such situation. Anyway I am glad with such outcome.

It's has been such a tiring weekend. I've been sleeping through my weekend because of the day of a month. I missed him so much because I been lying on bed with pain. We couldn't spend the weekend happily.

Miss you loads!!

Christina's post birthday dinner & Step Up 3

I had dinner with Christina and Gernice yesterday as Christina's post birthday meal! I was late due to work(as usual)! haha.. sorry to keep you girls waiting. =P We had Dian Xiao Er and the food was yummy compared to the previous time i went with Christina. Sorry for no pics as its all with Gernice. Upload them gal!

After which we walked around and Christina had to leave earlier to meet her hubby up. Left both of us as we wondered around and decided to catch a movie instead of going KTVing... We went to catch STEP UP 3 and the show was fantastic! The dance moves and background were just awesome! There were a few surprising scenes which was like wow! It is a nice entertaining show after a long day at work to enjoy the music + dance!

 Woooh.. Me and Gernice were telling each other how good looking Rick Malambri is! haha! even when he wears casually out on the 'street', he just look too handsome to resist!

Charming eyes!

Go and catch this show over the weekend! Yay!

Watch the Step up 3 Trailer here!!

Kite flying

Enjoy the kite flying experience! But I am getting soooo tanned！
So chao ta!















Loving the kite flying time with him!
Now looking forward to meeting Christina and gernice as well as our blading session on Sunday!

My Sunday

After watching the Germany vs Uraguay matc, both of us dropped dead till sunday morning 10.30am. As usual, we were thinking what to eat for breakfast or rather lunch..

Seeing the sun so bright and sunny, I suggested to go rollerblading as it was ages since we went rollerblade together; he decided to jog while i rollerblade

On the way there

loves the blue sky, beautiful clouds~

As I was taking time to warm up, he jogged ahead of me while i was still struggling.. Seeing the crowd, i decided to head back from where we started off. It was fun watching the little ones learning to blade; shared with him that i will encourage my kids to start young than to learn at my age. =)

After change, we were thinking where to have lunch and Ben called to ask whether we wanna watch 'Predator', I said 'okay' and off we headed to Tampines (our usual hunt on weekends).

The movie was so-so only while the ending was lame as expected.. dun waste your $$..

We decided to have Din Tai Fung early as we planned to catch the World Cup finals~ Netherlands against Spain. Got to sleep early~

-Din Tai Fung-The meal was fulfulling: Fried rice with prawn. Chilli Crab Dumpling, Xiao Long Bao, Suan La Tang and Hong You Chao Shou. These are our must haves!!

Headed home to prepare for sleep but we were engrossed with Discovery Channal: Deadliest Catch till 11pm+ Fell asleep and woke up at 2.30am to catch WC Final.

On a lighter note, my colleagues commented that this boy looks like my bf. Heheee!

what do you say?

Dinner with his family

Yesterday we went for a family dinner to celebrate his dad's friend birthday. It was at west coast recreation centre which brought back lots of memories.

Those were the sec sch days where the guys go for pool/ billiard while I stood by to watch. It also reminded me of the times where I went to Christina grandma place, my encounter with dialect hokkien. Those were my days around 13 to 16 yrs old.

Back to the dinner, it was quite nice. I had lobster bique, baked cod fish and banana spilt. Forgotten to take pics..

It was such a long time since I ate at jack place. It was our favorite hangout place with my aunt and uncle at the bras basah branch when I was young.

During the dinner, we chatted about current news etc. Then they asked him when is our wedding dinner. His mum casually mentioned that it's good to get married next year and have a dragon baby the following.

Hmm... Everything seem to be rushing. Nowadays topics are about flats, housing, children, marriage etc.. I do wish to settle down with him but talking about practically settling down, I seem afraid. Worried that we cannot cope financially, am I ready to be someone's wife; daughter in law; sister in law or even a mum?

The responsibility is a great commitment for life. Somehow I am withdrawing, afraid that I can't cope. Now this is really sitting on the fence... Hmmm...

Some overdued pics:
My surprise birthday celebration



My birthday presents



Citigem pendant from Angela, Anthony, Edwin and Gerald.
Gucci keychain from Shannon and Ben.
S90 camera from him.
Thanks to all!

Our trip to helix bridge

On a cool Monday morning, I am on way to work.. Squeezing thru the crowd in mrt.. This weekend was so short as we hardly had time. I am so tired, despite all the naps... I still feel lethargic.

Perhaps I am too tired emotionally, having to go thru the ups and downs again.. Going thru the emotional turmoils makes my heart break once again..

But glad that things work out fine... Will this last? I am not sure but I will keep trying...

I am losing confidence of myself...

Thanks for everyone concern!! I am fine just stressed up with work and family issue... Mum in hospital, rushing here and there...

Yeah my tea session with parents has been postponed!! Phew~

Yest saw the canon powershot sx210 online... Wanting it!!!! Hehhe!!! Friends u know what to do huh... Hahhah

I been trying to understand people.. Adults keep telling me:" you have to learn to understand because...＂ ＂you have to to try to look for their perspective as ....."

I am tired of hearing all these... I know what you are trying to say but have you stop to think... Have you ever learn to understand me or ever learn to look from my perspective??

To certain extend, we are all selfish beings and seek attention.... Just because I am fine and is mature enough to think and handle things doesn't mean I am Alright, okay?

I am just another young adult (or adult whichever you like to name) who wants attention too... I wished to be cared for and be understood.. I wish to be spoilt and pampered so that I can gain some attention... But yet it was never to be...

I can never have that kinda attention because to u pp, I am mature enough and able to cope...

Don't wait till one day I chose to mishandle things because I decided to just to gain your attention... Then it would be very pitiful for you and upsetting for everyone...

On way home and later to the hospital for mum's admission... Feeling tired physically and emotionally... To add on, my Aunty visit came... Emo emo emo..

This will be a busy week again with mum in hospital and work.. Work is piling up and lots of issues to handle at the same time.. Stressed ah~

Not a good and happy may to start off with.. Haiz... And not to mention it's my birthday month too!! Hope everyhing would be better... *Pray*

After 3 days of sore throat, running nose and persistant fever... i gave in and went to see doctor... despite taking medications from previous visits...

Doc recommended me to take Tamiflu which i refused as i had taken it before and the feeling was bad... and did not want to be immune to Tamiflu too... end up took the H1N1 swab test which was highly encouraged by her and since it was free, i went ahead... had to wait 3 days for test results...

*waiting patiently*

meanwhile just plenty of rest and if fever persist or high fever.. will have to be back to clinic...

got to rest...

Travelling on the similar journey but different feeling... Looking at the same scenary but different views....

The smile on her face is so sincere... Which makes each day worth looking forward to...

Simple happiness...

After some discussions, I felt that things were so wrong just to turn the tables at me...

Nothing was mentioned before I signed on the dotted lines... She did promise to return me not in one sum yet we agreed verbally on the monthly term instead... As your reason was based on com acct.

Yet at the very moment u telling me not to be calculative... I was soooo wrong not to listen to them. They told me to wait till I received everything before signing... Yet I told them it's alright, I trust them and they would stand by their words...

Now I have proved myself sooo wrong... Words have been eaten up... Tables turned around...

No point arguing who's right or wrong anymore cos to some they are never ending to it..

It's a lesson learnt... Only trust black and white... Sad to say, I have lost it... Lost it once again... Got to move on...

No one is indispensable in this world… thus it makes no difference to some people whether we are breathing in the same air or not..

My good friend taught me: “Once a friend, always a friend” which I held on dearly to.. Even till now, we would make an effort to catch up on our lives..

But the quote doesn’t apply to all… Things have turned sour to the point of disappointment and sense of betrayal…. If you are out to turn my life upside down by doing such things to eat my share, go ahead if it does not affect your conscience… knowing my plight and current situation… all I need is understanding and not some kinda arrangement to do me in.

It’s so F**king upsetting that I cannot stand it… if you were really my buddy you would have informed me earlier knowing my current situation and not play me out by doing such things…

At least I know I been thru it, slog it through even though I did not succeed but I manage to recover my health…

Sorry to all reading this post, I am just too upset with certain issue at this point of time…. Don’t ask me anymore if you are really concerned… thanks…

back from a 'construction' on my teeth.. spent $200+ on it.. a big damage to my poor pocket.. but glad i have nice set of looking teeth!

Mega Smile!

can't believe i am the fool again.. i gave you chances and chances again.. yet i thought you could be trusted but i realised that you been lying to me again and again.. regardless call it a white lie or what...

i just hate ppl for lying to me!!
i really don't know how to trust and pretend that everthing is gonna be alright....

haiz.. a long journey down yet no trust.. only pretence...

That kinda fear makes one feel helpless.. there is nothing i can do at all.. only to pray.. although i am fearful yet i got to pretend everything is going to be fine..

I understand that kinda fear of duno what is going to happen.. what will happen or what is next?

Feeling totally lost and helpless..

Lying here.. Thinking.. Pondering.. I have come this far.. With nothing on hands but only love love & love.. Love from my family, love from my friends & love from him..

I broke their heart again n again, they shed their tears for me again n again but they continue to love and support me again n again.. I love them for who they are.. I really love u..